Concerned neighbor mistakes my active social life for prostitution

Single women beware! If you date multiple men at once, and have a preference for Xmas lights, concerned St. Pete neighbors may accuse you of being a hooker.

That's exactly what happened to me when a tenant in my apartment complex reported "a lot of traffic" through my place and a red porch light to my landlord as evidence that I'm operating a brothel. Nice, a leftover Xmas light and a “suspiciously active" social life suddenly make me a hooker. What is this, 1693? Am I going to be fried at the stake after being repeatedly violated by righteous accusers interested in saving my soul? Or maybe I'll have a Scarlet A branded on my chest, like a sign advertising some guilt-free groping by morally superior neighbors.