Doug Stanhope is a balls-to-the-wall tact-free modern-day outlaw comic who says exactly whats on his mind to great (if highly uncomfortable and nearly always offensive) comic effect. He recently admitted to being a techno-retard on his blog and to becoming every hackneyed old comic who talks about these kids and their gadgets today. Take your apps and iPhones and leave me sitting here with my thumb stuck in my oldy-fashioned vibrating latex anus. Expect some related techno-bashing at his Crowbar show. Sat., Nov. 21, 8 p.m., Crowbar, Ybor City, $20 (ages 21 and up), dougstanhope.com. Leilani Polk
Tony Soprano and Groucho Marx would be in heaven: The 11th annual Cigar Heritage Festival includes an attempt to break the Guinness Book's Worlds Longest Cigar record by master cigar makers Wallace and Margarita Reyes, who try for a 180 cigar. The nationally syndicated Cigar Dave Show is on site to report the festivities, a game zone offers big screen TVs, leather couches and casino tables (it doesn't matter how many cigars there are, you still gotta catch the game), a beer and wine garden, a kid's corner, access to the Saturday Market, myriad ethnic food vendors, and, of course, an enormous selection of the world's finest cigars and accessories — all in the heart of Ybor. Sat., Nov. 21, 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Centennial Park, Tampa, $5, free for children 12 and younger.