Performance anxiety has gripped every soul who has ever been assigned the wine list. Tension builds as one guest wants salmon, another chooses steak, the other — tofu. Nervous sweat beads on your forehead. The eager party awaits your choice of the perfect bottle of wine, the wine to end all wines, the one that lovingly marries every dish.
Well forget about it, 'cause that's never gonna happen.
This wine is as elusive as the Holy Grail — virtually impossible to find. Different foods prefer different wines, depending on the sauce, spices and ingredients. And the proliferation of bogus, color-coded "rules" doesn't make the quest any easier. I recently heard a tantalizing rumor that the stubborn red-wine-with-red-meat myth (yes, myth) originated after World War II, when American beef-producers had excess stock and the French had excess red wine. The two factions got together, made the pact, and a fallacy was born.
I'm not sure how much truth there is to this rumor, but to test the myth try an experiment: Prepare a piece of red meat (beef, lamb, game), seasoning only one half (salt, pepper, garlic). Broil that sucker, and try a chilled Chardonnay with separate bites from both the seasoned and unseasoned sides. Then try it with red wine, maybe a Cabernet, traditionally a "perfect" match to steak. Taste the difference, and see if the rumor mill is right.
On the other hand, some rules (the ones based on common sense) are good. First off, start with a wine you like. You'll probably be consuming it before the meal and between courses, so thirst-quenching appeal is a necessity. Secondly, you don't want to overpower the flavor of the food, so match the weight of the wine with the weight of the food. Light, dry white wines like Sauvignon Blanc pair well with light, delicate cuisines, like sauteed seafood. But throw in a heavier, tomato-based sauce and a fragile wine will drown. In that instance, choose a heavier yet fruity wine, like Sangiovese (Chianti).
Treat charbroiled, grilled fish, especially fatty salmon, to a glass of medium-bodied Pinot Noir. Thirdly, strive for contrasts and complements and you won't go wrong. Rich, cream-based sauces call for something lighter, and sharper, like an oaked Chardonnay. But a hearty mushroom sauce poured over a grilled steak is a perfect companion for an earthy Cabernet. Spicy foods are always difficult to match, but their contrasting partner is sweetness. Hot peppers and curries can be tamed with sweeter Gewurztraminer or Rieslings.
To explore how acids and fats from foods affect your wine palate, try the apple and cheese comparison. Choose a highly acidic, white wine such as Sauvignon Blanc. Take a sip and then a bite of a tart, green apple. Try the wine again. Notice how it tastes different. Follow up with a bite of creamy, fatty cheese such as Brie. Taste the same wine, and witness the difference. The apple is loaded with acidity, so after the wine, your mouth might pucker. The cheese, high in fat and protein, should highly contrast the acids, and be an excellent food and wine match.
And lastly, one final rule: Sparkling wine pairs well with everything. Somehow, this stuff makes friends with all food, and most people. So, when in doubt and everyone is ordering something different, reach for the bubbly.
Try some of these wines with your experiments.
Fetzer Echo Ridge 2000 Johannisberg Riesling
A touch of sweetness that is perfect for balancing with Indian curry. It's blended with 18-percent Muscat grape that gives it a really perfumey aroma ($10).
Buena Vista 2000 Sauvignon Blanc
Light and refreshing with grassy flavors and aroma. And, at this low cost, the price is really easy to swallow. Try it with sauteed garlic shrimp or white fish ($9).
Dry Creek Vineyard 1998 Meritage
Medium-bodied, earthy blend of Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot and Cabernet Franc. Loads of berry fruit and a great food wine to match with mushroom sauces. Pretty damn good all by itself too ($26). 
Comments? Questions? Great wine experience to share? Talk to us! We'll feature your comments in our Mailbag. E-mail corkscrew@creativeloafing.com, mail to Corkscrew, 1310 E. Ninth Ave., Tampa, FL 33605 or call 1-800-341-LOAF.
This article appears in Jan 9-15, 2002.