That’s because MLB’s Opening Day was technically last Wednesday, when the Seattle Mariners beat the Oakland A’s 3-1… in Tokyo.
Really, Bud Selig? Taking America’s pastime 5,000 miles away on a day most baseball fans consider sacred? You have brought much shame upon my country, Selig-san! While you’re at it, why don’t you just change the lyrics in “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” to “Buy me some fish sperm and crackerjack”?
I’m not against taking a game or two international every now and then. But opening day is as American as a second degree burn from a McDonald’s apple pie. Try and keep it somewhere between Juneau and Key West, pretty please.
That said, after a month of dress rehearsals, signing autographs for eBay assholes, and enough tie games to make you wanna rub soft-pretzel salt in your eyes to stay awake, the Tampa Bay Rays will open the 2012 season for real Friday afternoon against C.C., Derek Jeter, Darth Vader and the New York Yankees. Then it gets ugly(er). The Rays hit the road for three games in Detroit (pee-yoo!), four in Boston (think Good Will Hunting with double the accent and none of the MIT), then three in Toronto (um…Jays have beauty bats, eh).
Will the Rays’ five-card stud pitching rotation live up to the billing? Will early injuries put the Rays in an early hole? (Get well soon, outfield!) Will Luke Scott be the difference at the plate? (Let go, Luke.) Will manager Joe Maddon ever settle on a shortstop? (Or hair color? It’s gray, Joe. Accept it.) Will I ever stop with the Star Wars references?
Only time will tell… and beer. The second guessing is over. It’s on. Play ball. Go Rays.
This article appears in Apr 5-11, 2012.