RNR: Hopp, what did you expect when I told you that some local independent filmmakers thought we'd be perfect to review their film?
The Hopp: Well, with a movie described as "no budget,"I was expecting a train wreck of bad acting, poor writing and boom mikes in the frame, but what we got was, well, quite different than that. Slimed actually used the lack of budget and cheesy plots to make a really entertaining film. Who could've seen that coming?
RNR: Not me. I mean, dont get me wrong, I was totally excited that the great guys who made Slimed reached out to us given our reputation in the bad film world, but I certainly didnt expect anything this good. The writing was slick, tremendously humorous and highly quotable. In fact, at times, the film looks like its trying to be something, perhaps propaganda-y. And even that played out in surprising fashion. Mr. Hopp is our resident film plot explainer, so Hopp, get to selling the 3 Guys faithful the plot to SLIMED:
TH: I'm almost at a loss on this one, but here goes: An atheist park ranger and a bible salesman trek into the woods to find a spot to build a "nature building," only to find some crazy shenanigans going on in the park. Shenanigans so crazy, in fact, that they involve a sick-but-wise mystical cat and an evil Bond-esque villain mouse trying to take over the world. Once they discover the evil plot, the park ranger and bible salesman must save the world from the Clean-O, and maybe get religion at the same time or something to that extent.
RNR: Yeah, that kind of nails it. Total brilliance. The Cat in the Cap, in the Bed by the Door has some scene-stealing dialog that weve been quoting for the last month. Not to take anything away from the villainous mouse (a Mickey reference?), with his Look at my little foot line and the crazy peek-a-boo scene.
Slimed moves swiftly through its plot, with plenty of wit and zaniness to engage the audience and will likely leave them in stitches. The park ranger, Ranger Rock (portrayed by local boy Jordan Lee) is so tongue-in-cheek he ties the film together with ease. Filmed locally in Clearwater by promising writers/directors Eric Manche and Jeff Nitzberg, the film looks great and Floridas parks are a fantastic setting. But unfortunately (and not to give too much away), the state doesnt quite look the same by films end.
TH: I think it's great to not only have a film set in Florida, but filmed in the Bay area. It gives me hope for my future, along with so many other future filmmakers. I do have to wonder if those future directors can live up to the brilliance of seeing Ranger Rockerson shooting little kids with a slime gun, before watching them explode as they hit the trees. I mean, how do you really top exploding kids, anyway?
RNR: Maybe exploding Sarah Palin children?
TH: I like it!!!
RNR: So a funny, local, no budget film, stocked full of talking wizard cats, diabolical corporate mice and children shot by lasers and we don't think it's fail worthy?!? It's a miracle! Let us all drink Clean-O in celebration.
So a cheesy, "out there" film made with no money, how FAIL worthy is Slimed ?
Were going to rate this one:
1 Little Mutated Mouse Foot out of 10, with 10 being the HOLY FAIL
The 3 Guys enjoyed Slimed way more than we probably should. Entertaining, comical and full of just enough twists to make you say WTF? Slimed is a FAIL of no kind.
RNR: Jimbo, how we coming along with that drink buddy?
Jimbo: Were all set, I just concocted a beverage, fittingly called:
3 oz sour apple puckers
2 oz vodka
1 oz triple sec
Shake all together, chilled, strain into red plastic cup. Mix in 6 oz Sierra Mists
Somewhere deep within the annals of wretched movie-dom stands The Holy FAIL, the best worst movie ever committed to film. And in the search of said cinematic bile are The 3 Guys, brave heroes like no other. If a poorly suited monster or a dangling boom mic appear on screen, the 3 Guys have seen it. They do it all for the bravest and boldest of movie goers. And the money lots and lots of money.
This week the brave, young, lads mount a local independent film: Slimed, a film that proudly includes
"Action. Horror. Exploding Children."
Rabid Nick Refer: As a member of the infamous 3 Guys, I can proudly say we've become notorious for being the masters of both mirth and bad cinema. The Quest for the HOLY FAIL has been quite an endeavor, and our lurid adventures into the deep, dark vault of shitty films sometimes result in exposure to dreck so bad that it hurts us physically. And then, at other times, we discover an unknown gem and declare it a bit of a minor masterpiece.
The 3 Guys found just that when some local filmmakers introduced us to their no budget juggernaut, the wonderful piece of entertainment that is SLIMED.