I feel old in my bones this week. Old, middle class and, ultimately, everything 16-year-old me said she wouldn't be.
As I write this, I'm drinking decaf because apparently the good stuff is eating my bones and those 30 pounds I lost a few years back? Turns out the skinnier you are, the higher your chances of getting osteoporosis. Soon we'll redo our black-and-gold bathroom, so I'm spending a chunk of time on Pinterest. I have a grown-up job and a car no one's ever going to call sexy and I swear to god I had my first hot flash last week.
16-year-old me, though? Man, she had a plan. She was going to be a writer and live in a big house and rail against the establishment. I laughed at the bourgeois; that would never be me.
And then I remember… I am a writer — with a book coming out in October! — who has a dreamy full-time gig at the alt paper that came into existence when I was a teenager, My house? It's not small (hey, the recession wasn't all bad) and the car? It's paid for and it aspires to bougie, but it can still beat a mustang in a street race (please don't ask me how I know that). And as far as the establishment? Yeah, it still sucks, but I'm a second generation American who probably wouldn't be allowed in today and honestly, some parts of the establishment? Kinda nice. Other parts? Well, that's why I work where I work.
In truth, too, 16-year-old me was an asshole. Ask my mom, she remembers. And 43-year-old me? I like her. She's pretty cool, actually.
Let's get to the weekend, where you should party like 16-year-old me. Or maybe 18-year-old me (you know, for legal reasons).
Friday
Mind Over Matter opening reception at Florida Craft Art
Before I Die mural unveiling and opening reception at Tampa's Borein Bridge
Late night at Pia's Trattoria, where they now go to 11 because they realize we're not all 80.
Saturday
Pup Crawl in Seminole Heights
Tampa Bay Screams Horror Convention
Strangeness and Charm opening reception at Bamboozle
Cuba Casino Night at the St. Petersburg Museum of History
Wearable Art at the Dunedin Fine Arts Center
Sunday
See The Maltese Falcon on the silver screen.
Head to the Safety Harbor Home Show. Look, you be 16 again for only so long, and that bathroom? It's not going to renovate itself.
This article appears in Aug 25 – Sep 1, 2016.