Late Night Catechism
May 1-3, 8 p.m. and May 2-3, 2 p.m.
Jaeb Theater of the Straz Center, 1010 N. MacInnes Place, Tampa
813-229-7827, strazcenter.org
The touring comedy show Late Nite Catechism recalls a pre-Internet bygone era of Catholic school discipline and knuckle-rapping nuns. Mary Zentmyer, aka Sister Mary Z, tells CL via email Q&A about her touring classroom in an email Q&A.
CL: Do you incorporate current Catholic references into your act, such as Pope Francis?
MZ: I do usually at least mention Pope Frank (my "Sister" likes to call him Pope Frank, because every Catholic boy I've ever known (especially the Irish and Italian ones) who were named, "Francis", would always go by, "Frank". I sometimes get questions about Pope Frank, when we have the Q&A after Recess. He's an approachable, down-to-earth, swell guy, and "Sister" loves to talk about him. I love that he drives his own car, makes his own calls, rides a bicycle, and loves PIZZA! '-) A Pope of the people!
Could you describe a memory of a nun in your life growing up?
I was taught by the School Sisters of St. Francis (not Frank this time!), at Alvernia H.S. in Chicago, and my Biology nun Freshie year (and again in Junior Year, for Anatomy & Physiology) was Sister Zoerita. She was a hoot! Sister wore the partial habit, with a knee-length skirt and a veil, but with her hair showing, and was a spitfire of a teacher! I try to incorporate a little of her wackiness and energy into my character. She once told us that if all of us were like the plants, containing chlorophyll, that would not only solve the starvation problem in the word (since we'd all make our own food), but it would also eliminate prejudice, since we'd all be GREEN! '-) She was funny. I attempt to portray her complete joy of teaching.
Please give an example of what people who've grown up Catholic share with you after seeing the show.
My Mom also had an aunt who was a Sister of Providence, and taught music in several elementary schools in Chicago. Sister Agnes Philomene looked like Santa Claus in a habit — Sister was little, but round, with perpetually rosy cheeks. She always looked happy, and as a child, I was in awe of her; I thought she gave off a holy glow! It was a very special occasion when she came to visit us at our home, and a great honor for our family.
I hope they share the ability to laugh at some of the memories! I think they do walk out of "class", smiling and laughing at past experiences. It really strikes a deep chord with many people. The nostalgia factor is very high.
What feedback have you gotten from audience members?
People will tell me I remind them of Sister ____________, and they fill in the blank, with their 8th grade Principal, or their 3rd grade teacher's name, and it brings back specific memories of specific Sisters they knew and were taught by. People love to share their stories!
They tell me that they've learned something, or remembered something, from years ago, that they didn't know they knew! I also get many people asking me if I'm a real nun! They share THEIR favorite nun stories on the way out of class, or sometimes during class. It's often the funniest part of the evening. (I LOVE the Florida Snowbirds, because they remember "Sister" from years ago, being taught in the Catholic schools back in N.Y. or N.J., or Philly or Boston, back in 'the day'. They are my favorite audience!)
I imagine you have jokes for non-Catholics too …
I get all faiths in class, and we include all of them. Everybody has had a strict teacher, so they get it. However — "The Protestants sit down front, and all the Catholics are hiding in the back!"
Jesus was Jewish, you know (on his Mother's side*). And Mary, and Joseph, too! So Sister is always very happy and excited to have Jewish students in class. ("The Jewish people invented guilt, and the Catholics perfected it!) It's really true — having an Irish, Catholic mother is just like having a Jewish mother! GUILT, GUILT, GUILT. Been there. Done that!
What do you think of Pope Benedict? Should popes retire?
I think Pope Benedict is a scholar and a brilliant man. He really is kinda retired, but nuns never retire either! All Catholic religious work well into their '80s, '90s, till they can no longer work, and then, they're busy praying for us! It's just what they do. I think it was wise to let him step aside, due to age and health reasons, and let Pope Frank be the man of the people, while still being available to Pope Frank when he need him. Same Church; different marketing plan! '-)
Anything else you'd like to add?
The script for Late Nite Catechism was written in 1993, so many of the references require updating to make sense ("I'm taping Baywatch" is changed to a current T.V. show, for example!). Most of the script is the original, though. "Sister" is pretty much still in the 1940s, 50s and 60s, anyway, and so treats her "students" as if it were still 1952! If you text during "class", your technology will be confiscated and sent to the Missions. I have had to roll with the punches on cell phones coming so much more into play in the past 10 or 15 years, so the show has just naturally morphed. It's a challenge to get people to speak in complete sentences these days, and not in code! Making eye contact and having an actual conversation with someone, or playing and laughing together, is a skill that seems to need relearning, too. It's a flashback show, and once people let down their guards and put their equipment away, it's a lot of fun! You get to be a kid again, when there was no email, and things were a lot more relaxed and slow-paced. You wrote with a number 2 pencil and chalk. It was a simple time, when the pound sign meant POUND or NUMBER. I usually end the show by asking them to do their homework, and write a review of their experience on Ticketmaster, or Goldstar, or wherever they purchased their ticket to "class". If they attended the Catholic school, they are required to put "JMJ" at the top of every page, in the middle. If they attended the Public school, they may put, "LOL".
This article appears in Apr 16-22, 2015.