AltDotPop: Harry Potter's getting sexy, Beiber gets in a fight at laser tag and Sarah Palin hangs out with bears in Alaska

By Amanda Allwood on Wed, Oct 20, 2010 at 9:56 am

A promo for Sarah Palin's Alaska has made it's way to TLC and computers everywhere. If you thought this show would be about politics and Russia, boy oh boy are you wrong. It's mostly about bears and camouflage.

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I am incredibly done with Taylor Momsen and her teenage angst. Porn! Masturbation! Holding a gun! Stripper heels! I refuse to be shocked by a tiny blonde girl with kohl eyeliner and daddy issues.

Brooke Burke, who I hear is somehow involved with Dancing with the Stars, purchased stolen furniture or appliances or something from an employee at some fancy-schmancy store called Euroconcepts. The lesson here is that if you want discounted stuff, do what the rest of the country does and go to the Sears Scratch and Dent Store.

Christina Aguilera is getting divorced and living it up in Hawaii and E! just couldn't help making a Genie in the Bottle joke... and they called her a Dirrrrty Girl. Someone clearly knows how to read the Singles chart on Christina's Wikipedia page.

While Courtney Cox's life seems to be falling apart around her, Jennifer Aniston remains single and faking happy and we are waiting on Matthew Perry's new sitcom to become a reality, one of the "Friends" seem to be doing alright. David Schwimmer finally convinced a girl to take his redonkulous last name and got secretly married, four months ago.

Breaking News: We have a Scream 4 update!!!!!! Filming has already ended and everything is fine.* Scream 4 will be released as planned with David Arquette and Courtney Cox's roles in tact. The sigh of relief I am breathing right now is epic.

*Thank you God!!!!!

Follow me on Twitter, @MandaAnn and keep up with all your pop-culturely needs at @AltDotPop.

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I have never seen a Harry Potter movie. I have never read a Harry Potter book. The reason has nothing to do with the premise or the story, I just know that I have an addictive personality when it comes to media consumption and judging from the way things went down when I discovered Twilight... well, honestly I just don't have a week to commit to the Harry Potter franchise. That being said, these movie posters are drawing me in like a deer to a stream, a stream of sorcery and sexiness.

Rachel Zoe is preggers. You know what happens to women who look like her? Fat kids.

This week, Us Weekly asked the million-dollar question: "Did Justin Bieber Punch a Boy at a Laser Tag Center?" Of course he did but laser tag is intense! Blacklights and alarms and strobes and crazy techno music. It's war. You can't be held responsible for your actions in combat.