What do Tron, Ozzy Osbourne, the Super Bowl and Justin Bieber have in common? Nothing, you say? WRONG! #SignsOfTheApocalypse

Britney Spears is officially NOT performing on the Grammys. But seriously y'all I totally heard that she is performing at the Grammys … are you going to watch now??

After all that drama about the Golden Globes and meany-pants Ricky Gervais, he has been asked to come back again next year. Clearly, Hollywood loves having a snarky British man say mean things about them while they receive golden statues and cry fake tears of happiness. I will never understand the wealthy.

Sofia Vergara is designing a fashion line for Kmart. I get that she has that whole language- barrier issue but did no one tell her that Kmart is the red-headed, trailer park-dwelling stepchild of Wal-Mart? How would one translate that into Spanish?

Teen star and total disaster of a person, Demi Lovato, has been seen going to a rehab center for eating disorders. But let's focus on the important stuff here … those tights are like, the cutest. *eye roll*

Gwyneth Paltrow told Harper's Bazaar UK that she thinks people are mean to her. That is really quite sad for her. She should go ease her pain in that pile of money she has while the rest of the country struggles to put dinner on the table for their families and occasionally mentions that Gwyneth Paltrow is getting too thin. Pooooooor Gwyneth.

After the jump, I am catching Bieber fever, what would you do for a new Mini? and Charlie Sheen is a mess, in case you missed that whole cocaine-hernia thing.

This article appears in Jan 27 – Feb 2, 2011.