AltDotPop: We're back with Charlie Sheen, Linda Hogan, Justin Timberlake and more!

Charlie Sheen will be the next victim of Comedy Central's next Roast. Apparently no one told them that we have been roasting Charlie for the better part of 2011 and we stopped caring like a month ago. Shut it down. has uncovered Courtney Stodden's birth certificate and it looks like she is actually 16. Well, it doesn't look like it but some piece of paper says so. I still assume that she is around 36 and this is a load of BS, but hey, if she is 16 I feel really bad for her. She will likely die by the age of 50 due to rapid decomposition.

In news of girls who are actually pretty, I would pay a bajillion dollars to look and dress like Rosie Huntington-Whiteley.

Linda Hogan is on a bit of a media tour to promote her book Wrestling The Hulk: My Life Against The Ropes but her reps did not want her on Tampa radio if she was going to be talking to someone on "Team Hulk." Luckily, the DJs didn't get much in as Linda spewed on and on about Hulk's steroid us and how he was cheating on her with Brooke's friend and record rep... that may or may not be the same person. I could go on but I have used the word "Hulk" one too many times for my own taste so just listen.

LeAnn Rimes is like that friend who changes her Facebook profile pic once a day to a new one of her in a bikini because she lost like 35 pounds. LeAnn, no one wants to be that friend, put down the camerphone, you look like an asshole.

Spiderman (aka Tobey Maguire) says he did not know that the poker game where he won just shy of 2oo grand was illegal. I know it's illegal because I watched Veronica Mars and I remember that they totally got in trouble for the "casino in a dorm room" fiasco and also, Oceans 11. Tobey should stop trying to grow out his manly beard and watch more TV.

Janice Dickinson, looking more like Gollum than an actual living, breathing human being, strutted down the beach this weekend, seemingly proud that she has not eaten a sandwich since the early 80s. I on the other hand had two subs yesterday, cookies, chips, salsa, carrots, broccoli, three beers, one Chai latte and a banana. I think that Janice could learn a little something from people who do not have concave stomachs and still possess all their ribs. Pic here.

I wanna hang out with Kingston Rossdale. He seems like he would be a blast.

Stars, they are just like us! Reality stars are really just like us, they wear Spanx and sometimes show them when they get out of cars. Sexy Spanx Khloe.

Justin Timberlake is stepping in to save Myspace. I have no normal words. Only glitter text...

And finally, because I cannot just leave you with that joke. Something even more insane. Damme, do I want a Coors Light.

Follow me on Twitter @mandaann and for all your pop-culturely needs, check out @altdotpop.

I have been absent for quite some time, as I have been obsessing over The Voice, but I am back and, ummmm, not really better than ever, just back... so, get excited or something. This week, Charlie Sheen is returning to TV, LeAnn Rimes is more annoying than usual, I play "Janice Dickinson or skelton?" and the return of space, MySpace.

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