And the University of Connecticut Huskies are your 2011 NCAA Basketball National Champions after a game with enough bricks to build Derek Jeter another house. But when all is said and done, there's only one thing that matters: I'll always think Huskies are pants for fat kids.

After three games against the Baltimore Orioles at home over the weekend, the Tampa Bay Rays have currently won as many baseball games this year as my 71 year-old Dad. The Rays haven't started a season 0-3 since 19-forever. And if you've been following this team longer than three years, you know that's quite an accomplishment. Adding injury to insult, Evan Longoria strained his oblique and will be out at least three weeks while every-day activities such as "driving" and "opening doors" will be monitored. Um…okay. Could be worse, I guess. Sammy Sosa was thrown on the DL after sneezing. Pansy. Bet you don't need an interpreter for that word, do ya Sammy? Johnny Damon was out Sunday with a tight calf muscle predicted by some to be a result of the turf in Crap-icana Field. No worries, he only has 78 more to go.

The good news? The Red Sox were swept over the weekend as well. Smell that finger, Crawford.

This article appears in Mar 31 – Apr 6, 2011.