The Rays headed to Boston with fewer hits than Kajagoogoo and wound up scoring more than the Butler basketball team. If only MLB could use runs like anytime minutes.
Manny Ramirez knocked a grounder between shortstop and third and successfully made it to first base the Sunday before last. I reserved this section of the column to highlight his career in Tampa Bay but I'm finished. So…how was your weekend?
But seriously, thanks for the memories, wo-Manny. Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out. It might plunge the steroid and female hormone-stuffed syringe deeper in your butt-cheek. This year's Webster's dictionary officially defined the phrase, "Manny being Manny".
Manny being Manny (mannee-beeing-mannee)
n.
1. Selfish mercenary who can hit so you put up with him
2. Asshole
However, since his five-game one-hit and quit, the definition has been adjusted to "worthless pant-load of cheating cow shit stuffed in a trash bag with a dreadlock zip-tie marked "return to sender".
The good news? He's pregnant.
This article appears in Apr 7-13, 2011.