Got a minute? Then you have more than enough time for your Tapas-style sports update guaranteed to make you feel like the smartest guy in the break room. Jesus, is anybody ever going to clean the microwave? It looks like a barf-stuffed Hot Pocket blew up in there.
Another home game, another blackout. Sam Bradford, Steven Jackson and the Rams visit the Bucs Sunday at 1:00 and once again the fans will be spared the ass-trauma. One of two things will happen. Either the Bucs win a close one because the Rams manage to play worse, or Steven Jackson will run the ball for 7,000 yards and beat the pewter pants off us. Literally, cups and supporters all over the field. Ignore the bloggers bandwagon bashing, Bucs fans. You and I know the truth. We didn't like the hiring of Morris, how he was hired, who he was hired by, nor why he was hired. And we still don't. Sorry, Glazer-houses. We're fans, not saps. On that note, I'll be there. Go Bucs!
Speaking of Morris, it appears the young coach has discovered the cure for the Buc's current inability to score. Ready? He's holding practice at Raymond James in an attempt to familiarize the team with the end zone.
"We've got to get that feel of scoring touchdowns in our own end zone," Raheem Morris said with a straight face. Now that's coaching, ladies and gentlemen.
The joke is I'm not joking. I haven't seen this kind of brilliant strategy since GM Gay Culverhouse suggested orange pants in the late 80's.
At least they'll get that feel of playing in an empty stadium. Zing!
Bulls head to Cinci to take on the Bearcats in Nippert Stadium (he heh, Nippert) Friday night in a desperate attempt to win their first Big East game of the season. Not so fun fact: On September 25th, the Bearcats barely lost 31-29 to Oklahoma who's currently ranked #1 in the country and haven't lost since. This could go ugly early, which is a typical Friday night for me. Hey-oh!
Quicker Hits: The Magic play the Heat in an NBA exhibition game at the St. Pete Times Forum Friday night as well (NBA and Tampa Bay go together like Le-Yawn James and humility); It took 10 minutes of replay review to award a goal to the Islanders in an overtime Lightning loss Thursday night but coach Boucher took less than 10 seconds to rip his team for sluggish sloppy play, calling it "unacceptable" (Also unacceptable? 11 bucks for a tall beer. It's cheaper for a tall mocha at Starbucks for chrissakes. I mean, that's what I've heard. Stop laughing); Finally, a Yankee fan threw a beer at Cal Ripken during a TBS pregame show. Between that and the lunatic who attempted to get all John Hinckley on A-Rod the other night, Yankee fans are edging out Philly fans as the biggest douchebags in sports. Kudos, assholes.
This article appears in Oct 21-27, 2010.