It’s barely mid-August and pitcher David Price knotched another victory last night making him the first 15-game winner in franchise history (boy, this club was bad for a long time), Evan Longoria seems to have gotten his groove back, and the Rays are out of the loss column after five straight, beating the Tigers in tourist destination Detroit Rock City 6-3 in a game with more ups and downs than Gene Simmons’ backstage toilet.

To Hellickson and back. The pointless puns continue after the Rays placed both Jeff Niemann and Wade Davis on the disabled list, re-activating Jeremy Hellickson from Durham a few weeks early to take the mound this evening after a successful major league debut last week against the Twins. Since the win, Hellickson has been withholding sex from Susan Sarandon. Not out of superstition but because she’s now hideous.

Wait, we have starters? Buccaneer Head Coach Raheem Morris says he won’t be playing most of the first teams past one series apiece when the Bucs open their preseason at Miami Saturday night.

“You want to get your team physically and mentally prepared to play a game, but we’re going to be safe and protect our guys,” Morris said.

Meanwhile, another coach was heard saying, “Everyone has something hurting – a finger, a toe, a pinky. Your mom’s calling you. Nobody cares. If you’ve got a tweak and you want to be one of these 53 violent men, you’d better be ready to play. You’ve got to prove yourself, always. We were 3-13.”

Two decidedly different philosophies in a make-or-break training camp that needs to be on the same page if this team expects to, huh? Coach Morris said both of those? Seriously? Well, that’s not creepy at all.

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This article appears in Aug 5-11, 2010.