Bill's Sports Binge: Rays fans stressed, Bucs Fanfest and Ron Artest

Pebble Beach is a bitch

The first round of the US Open was only about survival. Only nine players shot under par, Tiger and Mickelson combined for zero birdies, and some up-and-coming star out of Okie-State, Morgan Hoffmann nailed a quadruple-bogey 9 and tossed the ball into the Pacific. Seriously.

Is it over?

LA beats Boston in game 7 of the NBA Finals ('yawn', excuse me). Ron Artest thanks everyone in his 'hood, his psychiatrist, and pimps his new single, much to the indifference of fly-over country. (aka. America)

Speaking of America, the US tied Slovenia 2-2 in the World Cup after our boys fell behind 2-nil at halftime. U-S-A! Ties are good, right? Nobody's feelings get hurt. Everybody wins. Who wants ice cream?

Friday's here. Working hard or hardly working? How was your week?  Got any big plans this weekend? Good, good. Okay, enough. TMI, I don't need to know your life story. I got my own problems. Let's get to it, shall we? That beer at home ain't drinkin itself.

. But so did the Yankees. Hooray for ties.

Okay, let me check yesterday's notes. Rays lost to the Braves, missed opportunities, the bats just couldn't get it done, Joe Maddon credited the other team, yada yada yada. Short story shorter, if it wasn't for one pitch and one bad bounce, things could have gone differently. But that's baseball. Sure the Braves are good, sure it's only 66 games, sure we're still tied for first place in the East with the New York dickweeds, but dammit you're better than that, boys. Aren't ya? I'm tired of reading about James Shields pitching well in a losing effort. And these near shutouts are giving me gas. There's only 96 games left. Get the lead out, brush up on your espanol, and go kick Miami's ass already.

Bucs cheapskates and liars

And I'm being nice. After standout left tackle, Donald Penn decided to decline the Buc's contract offer because the arrogant bastard apparently prefers to be paid closer to the average salary ("cough," Doug Williams, "cough"), GM Mark Dominik decided to sweeten the deal byoffering him about a hundred grand less. Now I'm not an expert in negotiating skills, but if I'm at a flea market, and I lowball some hillbilly five bucks for 10 dollar chachki and he declines, I'm not going to counter with $3.50 unless I just don't give a rat's ass. But in the hopes of persuading the jilted offensive lineman to reconsider, Dominik expressed just how much Penn means to the franchise by threatening to fine him if he doesn't show up to camp on July 30. Smooth. It should be noted that the Buccaneers can't actually fine him, and admitted as much through a spokesman. Oopsie! So the GM was either lying or he doesn't know what he's doing. No, there's not a third option.

On a positive note, Buccaneers Fanfest is Saturday!

Autographs, cheerleaders, Captain Fear, pirate ship tours, and coaches spin; all in 92 flop-sweating degrees. Bring your friends, cameras, mini-helmets, and smelling salts for little Bobby when he collapses from heat stroke. The Event begins at 4:30pm and is free free free! (water is 35 bucks)

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