I must sound like a broken record because now even I'm starting to get sick of hearing my own opinion about the Buccaneers. And I love my opinion.  I agree with it 90% of the time. Oh, you should see the looks I get when I disagree with myself. Awk-waaard. Speaking of awkward, does anybody even know what a broken record is anymore? I remember one day getting my groove on to Boogie Shoes in my room when I was eight but then it skipped at the end right before KC said, "Yeah!" for my big finish and instead just repeated, "Shoes (skip) Shoes (skip) Shoes (skip)…" Damn you, K-Tel Records! By the way, am I the only one who thinks disco was a CIA conspiracy to get more honkeys out on the dance floor? I'm still waiting for that Wiki-leak. Damn, what's in this coffee?

The current combined record of the teams the Bucs have beaten is 22-62 and after the loss to Atlanta, the number of wins against winning teams is still zero. Yet once again, apologists are out in full force railroading us for having the nerve and the unmitigated gall to criticize this little engine that could. I don't mind homerism, but some of these Pollyannas make Santa Claus look like a hungover Darth Vader who lost his wife and the Death Star in one day. And then realized he left his cell phone on the Death Star!

Enough with the double-speak. You can't say the Bucs are good and then make the excuse for why they got swept by the Falcons by saying the Falcons are good. You can't give credit to Raheem "statistics are for losers" Morris for playing a good game if the only stat he belligerently demanded we pay any attention to is the "L" at the end. You can't shine a spotlight on the almost-wins to Atlanta and Baltimore without acknowledging the almost-losses to St. Louis, Cincinnati, Arizona and Cleveland. I mean, I really hate to be the guy who says, "Jane you ignorant slut" every week but for God's sake, where's the counter-point?

Throw-back-blackout. One of my favorite questions a kid asks a teacher is, "Why did you fail me?" The teacher's response? "I didn't fail you. YOU FAILED." Doesn't anybody see the lazy irony of some of these crybabies who want other people to fill the stadium so they can sit on their fat-asses and watch it for free? Outside the stadium Sunday well after kick-off, the box office had a line in front of it resembling a Cincinnati Who concert. The result? The house was packed. Conclusion? Blackouts work. Get over it.

Quicker Hits: Australian for crappy season. Florida will meet Penn State in the Outback Bowl (not so long ago, it was considered a kick in the pigskin-foreskins for the Gators to play in the formerly known, Hall of Fame Bowl. This year? Relief, and a touch of guilt); What started as the most anticipated Monday Night Football match-up of the year turned out to be the worst Jets ass-whuppin from the Patriots since the 1945 Luftwaffe (Ugh. Yes, I know they didn't have jet engines yet, Einstein. Go not-get-laid somewhere else); Speaking of MNF, The party's over for former Dallas Cowboy quarterback, football analyst and top-5 candidate in my Studs-of-all-Time list, Don Meredith who passed away at age 72. Dandy Don showed Howard Cosell as well as all Northeastern know-it-alls at the time that a Southern twang didn't necessarily mean dumb. Hear that, Situation?

This article appears in Dec 2-8, 2010.