Stop me if you’ve heard this one before.
No, seriously. Have you heard this one before? Because up until a few weeks ago, neither had we, and now all I can think is, "How in the hell did BVB never see The Unholy back when it was released in the late 1980s?"
Arriving as part of the Vestron Video Collector’s Series, The Unholy literally must be experienced to truly know its majesty.
It’s like Hellraiser and The Exorcist got together for drinks, went in the alley to get busy and left this swaddled bundle of brimstone and gothic sex swagger to mature on its own, alone in the wild.
The Unholy is one of those special films that charges right out of the gate with some gory naked demon action before throttling back long enough to establish its core characters.
There’s Father Michael (a stoic Ben Cross) doing his best to resist and refute the Devil at all costs.
There’s Trevor Howard (another Oscar winner) playing Father Silva, the blind but all-knowing priest who tries mightily to enlist Father Michael in the ages-old fight against evil.
There’s Millie, the comely, virginal waitress, doing her best to resist the allure and enticement of Luke, the owner/operator of a local goth-fetish club, who keeps having crazy demonic happenings every night in his totally-80’s art-deco meets The Addams Family apartment.
The Unholy has everything you can want from a horror film:
- Gratuitous nudity, most of it featuring the ridiculously hot Nicole Fortier, who plays the titular demon in human form. She clearly doesn’t like clothes, but boy howdy, she loves a man of the cloth.
- Sexual assault, by a disgusting Hell-beast, who happens to have an extra-large tongue and what appears to be a baby arm dangling in its nether-regions.
- Puppet-sized demons that look like castoffs from Ghoulies who bind and gag Father Michael to an altar.
- Awesome dialogue, courtesy of Oscar winner Philip Yordan (1955’s Broken Lance) and Fernando Fonseca, including this sample:
Father Michael: Millie, this is superstitious nonsense.
Millie: (reading from an ancient religious tome) There’s more. One of the strongest demons is so evil, it’s known as the Unholy.
Father Michael: Millie!
Millie: Just listen to me! The Unholy can remain on earth out of hell so long as no one resists its temptations. The Unholy kills the sinner in the act of sinning and sends another soul to hell. The Unholy thrives on purity, on priests and virgins.
Father Michael: Millie, this is garbage.
Millie: Don’t you see, Father? I’m a virgin. I never let another man touch me. You’ve got to help me. Father, please.
Father Michael: Millie, don’t!
Millie: (disrobing)
Father Michael: Don’t!
Millie: Father, please make love to me!
It’s not until the last half-hour, though, that The Unholy realizes its true potential and unleashes a blistering smorgasbord of psychedelic imagery, animatronic demons and more as Father Michael finally grows some cojones and conjures the demon for battle.
First, he has to refuse the charms of the naked demon in human form. Then he has to contend with a slobbering, horny hell-beast that straddles his lap and tries to make sweet, sweet damnation love to his frazzled faith.
It’s truly a remarkable sequence — and, it should be noted, the best sequence in the entire film — that almost didn’t make the final cut.
Included in the special features is the original ending, which featured a lot less demonic sex play, more of a traditional, straight exorcism and a completely different hell-beast.
Personally, I prefer the over-the-top sequence with its whirring mishmash of violent imagery and gloopy practical special effects, but some fans may find the original a better fit.
This is the first time The Unholy has appeared in high-definition, and it’s a must-have for every horror enthusiast’s collection.
The Unholy
Genre: Horror
Directed by: Camilo Vila
Run time: 102 minutes
Rating: R
Format: Blu-Ray
The Stuff You Care About:
Hot chicks – Oh yes!
Nudity – Gratuitous.
Gore – Yes.
Drug use – No.
Bad Guys/Killers – Demons, baby, demons.
Buy/Rent – Buy it.
Released – June 27, 2017
Speaking of unholy hell being unleashed, BVB is here to say that John Wick is the action hero we need right now.
He doesn’t speak, unless absolutely necessary. He — miles if necessary — without letting anything deter his path. And he gets the job done, regardless of how many adversaries stand in his way.
As embodied by Keanu Reeves, Wick — particularly this iteration in John Wick: Chapter 2 — is akin to a 21st-century Kwai Chang Caine from Kung Fu. He just keeps going, and going, and it works. Really, really well.
The creative team of director Chad Stahelski and writer Derek Kolstad, both returning for the second chapter, clearly know their audience, but more — they know what makes an action movie great. And teamed with Reeves, they don’t let off the gas for Chapter 2’s entire 122-minute runtime.
Much of John Wick: Chapter 2 plays like a campfire ghost story told to keep unruly children in check. Wick is the boogeyman. The monster under your bed, or in your closet. He is a ghost you only see just before you die.
This mythology-building works in spades. Not only does it add extra oomph to each successive gun battle — OK, he got past 12 bad guys, but no way he kills 24 bad guys — but as a viewer, you begin to believe in the cult of Wick. He’s the avenging angel you want on your side because he just won’t stop.
Stahelski and Kolstad are smart enough to know that having their antihero survive massive amounts of gunfire without ever being hit is the stuff of movies, not real life, so they wisely show their hand upfront, having Wick invest in a dapper suit that also happens to be lined with Kevlar. It hurts like hell when he’s shot, but it also explains why he keeps going.
They also wisely create an assassin’s Switzerland, so to speak, with The Continental, a boutique hotel in New York where bad guys swap craft cocktails and declarations of future pain but violence is strictly forbidden. The hotel plays a pivotal role in Chapter 2 and it provides a nice opportunity to exhale and take a moment before the next action set piece erupts.
John Wick: Chapter 2 is that rare sequel that surpasses the original. It’s precise and fully thought-through. There’s no wasted exposition, no subplots shoehorned in to allow for a brief cameo. It is as lean and nitrous-infused as Dominic Toretto’s signature black Charger, but without the bloat that has slowly swelled The Fast and the Furious franchise to well past two hours per picture.
And Chapter 2 does something else: It makes you want to see more immediately. Seriously, Chapter 3 can’t arrive soon enough, and it should surpass the first two films in box office dollars.
John Wick: Chapter 2
Genre: Action/Sequel
Directed by: Chad Stahelski
Run time: 122 minutes
Rating: R
Format: Blu-Ray
The Stuff You Care About:
Hot chicks – Oh yes.
Nudity – No.
Gore – Lots of gun violence.
Drug use – No.
Bad Guys/Killers – Pretty much everyone in the damn movie is a killer.
Buy/Rent – Buy it.
Released – June 13, 2017
This article appears in Jul 6-13, 2017.