It Happened This Week-ish: Amy Winehouse's creepy dad, Charlize Theron and Adam Lambert kiss girls, Full House shockers, Kanye is alive

[image-1]*Charlize Theron earned some cash for charity this week by auctioning off a 20-second kiss, to another chick. I knew a lot of girls who did this in college and NONE of them got 140 grand for it, they were lucky if they got a Smirnoff Ice. I think this should be an example for slutty co-eds everywhere: Don't make out with other girls for free -- someone, somewhere will pay you for it.

*In case you were wondering, Kanye West is not dead and Miley Cyrus does not have the swine flu. Also, Britney Spears is not classy, Hugh Hefner is not 25 and Michael Jackson is not alive.

*More hard times for the "stars" of the CW as Ashlee Simpson has been let go from the uber-successful (if you are judging it by YouTube Internet Series standards) Melrose Place. She will now have more time to tend to Pete's regrowing locks, helping him create the newest hairstyle for pubescent, misunderstood boys, all of whom claim to hate Fall Out Boy.

*This has been a big week for Adam Lambert fans as he has admitted that he can be into kissing the ladies (I am a lady!) and he released the video for his new song (as already mentioned, I have eyes... so I can watch videos!) for his new single, "Time for Miracles" off the 2012 Soundtrack (aaaaaand I love disaster movies!). So basically, this is an early b-day present for yours truly and because I am a generous soul, I am passing the crazyhotglitterymansexiness onto you. Read, watch (video is below), laugh, cry and enjoy. You deserve it.

*Creepier headlines than this are hard to come by, even with Halloween approaching: Amy Winehouse's Dad: She and Her New Boobs Are 'Fantastic' .... Mmmmmmk, well first of all, this is a lie because I am a person and I know about things and I have eyes. Second, I did not realize that Joe Simpson was Amy Winehouse's father. Small world.

*Mischa Barton has made a statement, which is basically the Hollywood equivalent of "Well, I didn't want to be on your team anyway so I am taking my ball and going home" by telling the media "that whole world of network television, probably isn't, for me, a good idea now. I need to start reading for more serious roles." This news come just weeks after her ill-fated and awful CW series, The Beautiful Life, was pulled off the air.

*In Full House news, because that show will remain relevant for-e-ver,  Jodie Sweetin is releasing her memoir next month and as it turns out, the Olsen twins weren't the only ones spending the majority of their New York Minute premiere in a bathroom stall. That was a bulimia joke. Get it? Cuz they are so thin? Okay, fine, it wasn't that funny. This gets better, I promise.

After the jump: girl on girl for charity, people who are still the same as they were last week and a little Adam Lambert candy for the soul.

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