- I would make a deal with the devil to look like Scarlett Johansson.
- Lindsay Lohan is going more and more D-List as the hours pass, this time getting in a fight with late-night talk show host George Lopez (didn't know he had a talk show? yeah, I wish I didn't know that). After pictures of her from Perez Hilton's b-day bash surfaced with her feet covered in a mysterious, white powder, Lopez made a joke about it being cocaine. I have so much advice for Ms. Lohan. First of all, wipe the baby powder off BEFORE you leave your house. Second, don't get in fights with a dude who has a show on TNT, you were in Mean Girls, you are better than this.
- Miley Cyrus is getting her own place. Good for her, now she can pay two mortgages.
- James Franco is continuing his foray into effing with our heads, as he has applied and been accepted into Yale's English Ph.D program. Two new grow houses have already sprung up in the New Haven area in order to meet the new demand on their "product" and Liz Lemon is rumored to be looking into a rental property near campus.
After the jump, Joel McHale>Ryan Seacrest, remember James Van Der Beek? He is screwed, sexual preference confessions and more…
This article appears in Mar 31 – Apr 6, 2010.