Saying "it's hot" right now is like saying Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are "controversial" figures{ It's true, but it doesn't tell the whole story. It's more than hot. It's oppressive, especially when you started out in a nice, air-conditioned venue.
So why leave the air conditioning at all? Shouldn't we celebrate technological advances like climate control? Being outside is like a slap in the face to every inventor and engineer who helped perfect this modern marvel — Especially its creators, Willis Carrier and John Gorrie. Staying inside is like honoring science and technology, really. It's the right thing to do.
In other words, stay inside and catch a comedy show. Your clothes won't be drenched from the humidity, you won't need SPF 150 sunscreen and you won't get dehydrated by walking 10 feet. You can catch some laughs and stay nice and cool at the same time.
Or you could reject science and walk around in the heat like some Neanderthal, until a sudden Florida storm puts you in the middle of a downpour. Your choice.
You want to see comedy instead? Good call. Here are the best of the best coming up in August:
CANCELED Shut Up and Laugh. If not for Oddball on Aug. 26, this show — presented by Wild 94.1 FM — would be the biggest show of the month. It's still great for comedy fans, with headliners Jo Koy and Robert Kelly on the bill. Koy, known for his Chelsea Lately appearances, brings a lot of energy for his growing fan base. And Kelly has a slate of television credits, a no-nonsense attitude and a boatload of wit. Put them together (along with rising star Leonard Ouzts) and you have a complete evening of comedy. It costs a bit more than a regular show, but you get more. Don't be cheap on the laughs, okay?
Here's a bit of Koy on stage.
$35-$69. Aug. 12, 8 p.m. The Mahaffey Theater, 400 1st St. S., St. Petersburg. 727-893-7832. themahaffey.com.
Sheryl Underwood. If all you know of Underwood is her time on The Talk, you only know part of the story. Onstage, she's brash and outspoken, but her material would give network censors headaches. She's been doing it for decades with sharp and clever material but without a filter, so no chance she'll start changing things now.
Her fans expect nothing less, anyway. Expect good crowds during her run of Special Engagement shows.
$30. Aug. 12, 8 p.m. and 10:30 p.m.; Aug. 13, 7:30 p.m. and 10 p.m. Tampa Improv, 1600 E. Eighth Ave., Tampa. 813-864-4000. improvtampa.com.
Jamie Kennedy. Kennedy is more than just a stand-up comedian. He's skilled at acting and sketch comedy (like the well-regarded The Jamie Kennedy Experiment), and is known for theatrical performances and off-beat creativity. There should be plenty of animation and character-driven material for his fans at this special engagement run, whether they enjoy his sketches, writing, acting or comedy. Or all of the above.
$20-$25. Aug. 18, 8:30 p.m.; Aug. 19, 8 p.m. and 10:15 p.m.; Aug. 20, 8 p.m. and 10:30 p.m. Side Splitters, 12938 N. Dale Mabry Highway, Tampa. 813-960-1197. sidesplitterscomedy.com.
CANCELED: Oddball Comedy & Curiosity Festival. OK, so all that stuff about avoiding the outside? We mean it, but not for this show. Because Oddball, the annual traveling stand-up comedy festival, is one of the few shows worth attending without air conditioning. It might be the only one, really.
Basically, some of the biggest names in comedy travel around the country together and hit major venues. The Tampa stop is the second one on the tour, so the experience will be fresh for everyone, even the comedians. And there are a lot of well-known comedians: Bert Kreischer, Gabriel Iglesias, Hannibal Buress, Big Jay Oakerson, and Sebastian Maniscaclo are all scheduled for this stop (others, like Brian Regan, Dane Cook and John Oliver will pick up the tour later). Around 10 are slated for the main stage, though platforms for local talent have been a staple of this even since it began.
Each of these comedians would headline a show in their own right, so you could spend a calendar year and a lot of cash to see all of them. Now it's more than worth the price of admission and you can catch them all in one night. Kind of like Pokemon, except for adults (yes, we said it).
In the meantime, here are a few videos of the headliners.
$22-$118. Aug. 26 at 5:15 p.m. MidFlorida Credit Union Amphitheatre. 4802 US Highway 301 North, Tampa. Info: (813) 740-2446 or livenation.com.
This article appears in Jul 28 – Aug 4, 2016.