You have to love movies that can entertain without the need for any decent acting. Of course I’m thinking of the genre of films I’ll call “campy horror,” and The Cabin in the Woods certainly qualifies. The film’s gentle blending of horror conventions blurs the lines between homage, borrowing and straight-up robbery, but it’s still a good ride. Somewhere along the way, however, this vehicle takes a wrong turn, goes off road and gets stuck in a deep ravine.
Cabin kicks off ominously enough, with faceless corporate stooges Sitterson (Richard Jenkins) and Hadley (Bradley Whitford) having a day-in-the-life moment. Cut to five college kids packing for a time-honored slasher flick staple: the weekend getaway to the secluded family cabin.
But there’s more to this particular cabin than meets the eye: it’s wired every which way with cameras, microphones and more by those corporate stooges, all part of an elaborate setup. The puppeteers are pulling the strings, leading the unsuspecting victims along the way to the cellar, which is filled with all manner of creepy, totemic shit. Each puddle-to-be finds his or her favorite: a puzzle ball for athlete Curt (Chris Hemsworth), a music box for scholar Holden (Jesse Williams), an old journal for virgin Dana (Kristen Connolly), a necklace for Jules the whore (Anna Hutchison), and an old filmstrip to transfix Marty the fool (Fran Kranz). Each is a trigger that helps decide how the friends will die.
Suddenly, there’s zombies. Or zombified, pain-worshipping backwoods creeps wielding farm implements, to be more specific. What will happen as each member of the group dies, and how does that play into the corporate endgame?
Believe the hype about Cabin being a refreshing, original horror movie — up to a point. Its shortcomings and ultimate downfall stem from the filmmakers going too far, which is not to say they push the limits of stomach-churning gore. Rather, director Drew Goddard tries to do too much with the plot, layering twist after twist until the story snaps under the strain. Cabin approaches conceptual greatness when you’re led to believe it’s about a choose-your-own-adventure, pay-per-view, live-action, ritual-horror, over-hyphenated voyeur corporation bringing new levels of evil to viewers everywhere. Then they add one more layer, loads of camp ensue and the flick falls on its face after jumping the shark.
Don’t get me wrong, Cabin is entertaining. It’s just not the transcendent masterpiece the buzz and critical acclaim make it out to be. A lot of the gags are hilarious, and the campiness is great until it goes full-on over the top. And as I said, the acting is negligible, much like most movies of the same ilk. The Cabin in the Woods borrows the best elements from The Game, From Hell and Evil Dead. Too bad the filmmakers ultimately muddle it up, making it impossible to see the Woods through the trees.
This article appears in Apr 12-18, 2012.