The Youtube video of Patrick Moote having his marriage proposal rejected before a stadium full of people received 10 million views in 10 days. It was covered on major news stations and national talks shows. If this public humiliation wasn't emasculating enough, Moote's ex claimed one of the reasons she couldn't marry him was because his penis was too small.
Fueled by this rejection, Moote embarked on a globetrotting quest to answer two questions that are fundamental to masculine identity: 1. Does penis size really matter?, and 2. Are there any safe methods for increasing your penis size? The "cockumentary" of Moote's misadventures follows him from porn conventions to uncomfortable encounters with "dick doctors" in Third World motel rooms. Along the way Moote talks cocks with a wide range of experts, including doctors, anthropologists, penis pump pitch-men, and sexperts like Carol Queen, Dan Savage, and Annie Sprinkle. He also gets the opinions of a few porn stars like Ron Jeremy, Andy San Dimas, Allie Haze, and Axel Braun, and discovers what the man with the world's largest penis, Jonah Falcon, thinks about size.
I caught up with the UnHung Hero just before his cockumentary was unleashed on DVD, December, 10.
Why did you choose to propose to your girlfriend in such a public way, having your proposal broadcast on the jumbotron during a UCLA basketball game? Considering that you moved to LA to pursue a career in comedy, has your desire for public validation ever created problems in previous relationships?
Well, certainly not like that. I guess it was one of those things that just seemed like a sweet idea at the time … although I'm still not sure why.
Curiosity, I guess. Curiosity about the question, and curiosity about myself. I have always been very open. My life as an actor requires me to put myself out there in a vulnerable way, and I am no stranger to rejection so this really felt fairly standard for me. Although I guess a strong incentive for me was to get a bigger penis, but we all know how that worked out.
How long after the video of your rejection went viral did you decide to make this film? What do you say to those who suspect the rejection was a publicity stunt to give the film a jumping off point or even to attract investors?
I wish that was true. I am not going to lie — the video did help us attract attention to the project so it was definitely an asset. I started talking about it with friends about a week later, and told them what really went down. Brian was one of those friends. We started talking about the idea of weather "size matters" almost immediately. The idea to make a documentary came up just a couple glasses of Wild Turkey after that.
Why was the ex-girlfriend who rejected your proposal not interviewed for the film? Was she worried about being portrayed as an insensitive bitch or a size queen? Have you gotten her reaction from the documentary yet?
No, I was worried about that. I took things that she told me in private and made them everybody’s business which was really unfair. The idea wasn't to demonize anyone, and she has been more than cool about this whole thing since I told her what I was up to. She's obviously not in love with it, but recognizes the value of it.
When interviewing ex girlfriends, most admitted that you had a small penis. Why did you dwell on this fact instead of thinking, “I may have a small penis and yet it hasn’t stopped me from dating all these attractive women”?
Hey, what can I say? I guess my charm outweighs my penis. In fact, I think most things outweigh my penis at this point.
Your penis size was one of many reasons your ex gave for breaking up with you. What were some of the other reasons? Why did you get hung up on your penis size when this was the one aspect about yourself you couldn't change?
Tons of other reasons. That wasn't even one of the main ones either. It's just what I chose to focus on. If I asked myself to marry me right now, I'd say no. I have a lot of growing up to do, which is probably pretty obvious once you make a film about your penis. I'm basically just a child in adult clothing. The film helped a lot though, so I am getting there.
If most men could choose their penis size, what percentage do you think would pick a size that is painfully large for most women?
Almost all of them. That's what guys have been conditioned to think women want. Some do, but I'd say on average, average is just fine for most.
The surgery works. It adds a bunch of girth. The problems with getting them on camera was the guys not wanting to have their penis on camera. Which I guess is understandable. If you're insecure enough about your penis to get the surgery, having it featured in a film is probably your nightmare. I can attest to that.
How could you make a cockumentary about your penis without ever showing the star of the film?
My penis ended up on camera plenty of times. We could have used some of the footage too, but at a certain point Brian and I started to feel like it would go against the message of the film. What became important about the film for us was about so much more than penis size, and showing it felt like it would distract from that. Plus, like I said, that is my nightmare. It's like seeing what’s in the briefcase in Pulp Fiction. Your imagination is way more interesting. Trust me.
Presumably, by the film’s end, you learned to become more comfortable with your penis size. Are you comfortable enough to pose nude to help publicize the film?
Nope. Not that secure.
How different would the film have been if you actually went through with any of the permanent, penis enhancement procedures? Did you ever play up your intention to have these procedures done, knowing you would back out at the last minute to increase the drama?
I was always just going to go as far as I could before common sense took over, or I was going to potentially harm myself. In New Guinea I think Brian was more worried about me then I was. You can hear him off camera at one point going, "Pat. Pat!" He was so concerned. It was adorable.
Did you notice any similar personality traits in the men you interviewed with large penises compared to the men with small penises? Did they seem any happier, more confident, more arrogant, more entitled… ?
Not really. I used to think it did, but at this point I just think an asshole is an asshole and it has nothing to do with dick.
One person described your penis as being the equivalent to a woman with A cup breasts. Do you think women with A cups are as worried about their breast size as men are about their penis size? Do you think this has anything to do with the fact that women can’t hide their breast size while men can easily conceal their penis size in loose pants?
I think women are insecure about all kinds of things. Every woman you know has been bombarded by pressure to look a certain way since the day they were born. But honestly, I think having them out there makes it easier to accept. Obviously none of it is easy but you can't hide them so eventually you have to make peace. The fact that guys can hide this insecurity makes it worse. The longer you feel like you are carrying this secret around, the worse it gets. When in reality what you think is a problem is probably just fine. Same goes to you ladies! We're just guys. A cups are still awesome.
Have any women hit on you after a screening of the film? Which do you think does more to inspire female lust, a large penis or notoriety/fame?
Not really, and I don't want to comment on that for fear of making those potential women angry.
What is the best thing that has come out of having a small penis and making this film?
The best part of having a small penis was making this film, and making this film was the best thing for my penis. Personally I have come a long way so I am thankful for that, but if the message gets out there and people respond to it that will just be the best thing ever.
UnHung Hero will be released on DVD December 10. It will also be showing for a one-week engagement at the Arena Cinema in Los Angeles starting December 6th.