If you’re familiar with the Twi-phenomenon, you already know what happens in Eclipse, the latest installment in the Twilight series. (You’ve probably already made up your mind to see it, too.) For those still in the dark, here’s the plot in a nutshell: Kristen Stewart reprises her role as Bella, a pale, whiny emo human caught in a love triangle with a vampire and a werewolf. Robert Pattinson is back as Edward the vampire, and he’s still sexy, sparkly and a terrible actor. Taylor Lautner and his abs star as a wise-beyond-his-years werewolf, and they continue to awe the perfect-pecs-loving population. (He’s legal now, folks!) Bella wants Edward to make her a vampire; Edward wants her to marry him first. Oh, and there’s a rumble with the Cullens (Edward’s adopted fang family) and a pack of werewolves squaring odd with a rabid army of newborn vampires. The cherry on top is a visit from a coven of powerful Italian vampires called the Volturi (Dakota Fanning among them).
That’s really all you need to know, but if you’re looking for a more in-depth analysis of Eclipse, take 30 seconds to skim the book’s dust jacket. Not much else happens, unless you count a lot of teen angst and chaste make-out sessions there’s no way to dig deeper into something this shallow.
This article appears in Jun 24-30, 2010.
