Outtakes

NEW THIS WEEK:

THE BIG RED ONE (R) Restoration of director Samuel Fuller's 1980 World War II epic staring Lee Marvin and Mark Hamill (yes, that Mark Hamill). This re-release, containing over 40 minutes of footage originally hacked out by the studio, follows the American First Infantry Division as they fight their way from North Africa to Czechoslovakia, hitting several major battles in between. Many of the film's episodes were drawn from the director's personal experiences in the war, and this new cut is said to be significantly closer to Fuller's original vision then the earlier release. (Opens Dec. 3 at Burns Court Cinemas. Call theater to confirm.) (Not Reviewed)

CLOSER (R) Julia Roberts, Jude Law, Natalie Portman and Clive Owen play sexual (and maybe, just maybe, romantic) musical chairs in a raw-boned ballet of what director Mike Nichols probably intends as modern alienation. Law's would-be writer and Portman's off-and-on stripper are Couple No. 1, and Robert's long-suffering photographer and Owen's rude-and-crude dermatologist are Couple No. 2, although each time the movie jumps forward in time it seems like someone is screaming at someone for screwing someone else. The whole mess is set in motion by Law's ungentlemanly vacillation between Portman and Roberts, but no one is blameless here: Owens is a boiling kettle of hostility and id, Roberts reciprocates Law's advances and then lies about it, and Portman does a few naughty things, too. Nichols and writer Patrick Marber give us some moments of genuine, albeit vicious, power here (particularly in the film's later stages), but Closer's basic take on self-destructive relationships often seems like it's been chiseled with a sledgehammer — and it's certainly nothing new. The film's two male characters could be a watered-down fusion of Jack Nicholson's needy, controlling man's man from Nichol's own (and much better) Carnal Knowledge from decades past, while the film's females are either underdeveloped (Roberts) or way too enigmatic for their own good (Portman). (Opens Dec. 3 at local theaters.) 1/2

FADE TO BLACK (R) Documentary/concert film that follows Jay-Z as he records The Black Album and performs an unprecedented sold-out show at Madison Square Garden. The concert is loaded with big production numbers and guest stars, but it's the candid in-studio moments (an interesting debate about the effects of some lyrics; producers playing Jay new beats and hoping for approval) that provide the most interesting bits. For the fans, the concert is beautifully shot and edited, and there are plenty of high-energy highlights. Beyonce shakes, Mary J. Blige lends some soul, and at the center of it all is Jay-Z, the enigmatic rapper who has decided to hang it up at the height of his success. While the film attempts to understand his retirement, the vibrancy of Jay-Z and his material make this retirement seem destined to last about as long as any of Michael Jordan's. Everybody Bounce, y'all! (Opens Dec. 3 at local theaters.) 1/2—Joe Bardi

PRIMER (PG-13) A big hit at Sundance, this made-for-$7,000 project offers an intriguing premise in addition to all the buzz, but precious little reward. Writer-director Shane Carruth — who also produced, edited and photographed the film, as well as composing the music and acting in it — attempts to give us the more utilitarian, underexplored aspects of one of sci-fi's favorite what-if stories: the one about time travel. Carruth doesn't go for the big hooks or price-prohibitive special effects here; instead, we get a couple of techno-babbling geeks who just happen to whip up a time machine in their garage, as the movie spins a convoluted narrative that focuses on the practical considerations and potential problems of the invention. There are some fascinating thoughts here, but they're mostly buried among a faceless blur of awkward storytelling, nondescript visuals, dry and clunky dialogue, and acting that is generally pretty terrible. Primer isn't exactly your typical, low-budget independent movie — which is probably exactly why the folks at Sundance responded so favorably to it — but it could certainly take a lesson or two from those same indies in generating some cinematic pizzazz. Also stars David Sullivan. (Opens Dec. 3 at Sunrise Cinemas. Call theater to confirm.) 1/2

RECENT RELEASES:

AFTER THE SUNSET (PG-13) Although there are worse ways to wile away 90-some minutes, After the Sunset isn't really exciting or original enough to engage us as a heist movie, and it's not funny enough to succeed as a comedy. Pierce Brosnan (further distancing himself from the 007 image in flip-flops and a gray, gristled chin) and Salma Hayek are retired jewel thieves playing elaborately pointless cat-and-mouse games with FBI agent Woody Harrelson while they consider that inevitable one last heist. The movie is pleasant to look at (particularly the island locations and a frequently semi-clad Hayek), and some of the dialogue is fairly clever and quirky, but we've seen this Elmore Leonard-lite shtick too many times before. Also stars Don Cheadle. 1/2

ALEXANDER (R) Shorn of the shock cuts and other postmodernist tricks of the trade that have typified his style, Oliver Stone's three-hour biopic of Alexander the Great is, at best, a curiously uninvolving affair. Alexander is notable for being Stone's attempt to craft a historical epic more or less in the traditional mold, but the film gains little from this strategy and in fact falls prey to many of the bugaboos of the form. There are lots of long, boring speeches; hokey dialogue; an unintentionally silly melange of accents (from Irish brogues to faux-Slavic); a couple of extended battle scenes where the cry of "Glory!" becomes a four syllable word; a horribly manipulative soundtrack (courtesy of Vangelis); and a narrator who tells us about key events in the hero's life so that we don't have to actually witness them for ourselves. Colin Farrell makes a surprisingly lackluster Alexander, playing the great conqueror as a whiney, poofy-haired surfer dude with mother issues and an eye for the boys. In place of his usual conspiracy theories and cinematic provocations, Stone layers in heaping helpings of pop psychology, mainly manifested by Angelina Jolie as Alexander's dominating, guilt-tripping, weirdly sensualized mother (she does some interesting things with snakes, too). Stone throws in everything but a vagina with teeth, but he doesn't seem to really understand the elements he's tinkering with, and doesn't have enough control over them to keep everything from turning into some ludicrous, quasi-camp interlude that seems to exist outside of the main body of the movie. Likewise for the depiction of Alexander's sexuality, which give us lots of come-hither stares between Farrell and various doe-eyed boys but leaves the only on-screen sex to a strictly hetero coupling between the star and a mightily breasted Rosario Dawson. In the end, the movie's simply confused and a bit of a bore, like a long-winded drunk who stayed too long at the party. Also stars Val Kilmer, Anthony Hopkins, Jared Leto and Christopher Plummer.

ALFIE (R) Jude Law stars in this slick but pointless remake of the 1966 Michael Caine star-maker about a womanizing, commitment-phobic cad. Behavior that seemed shocking and provocative on a movie screen nearly four decades ago, however, now simply seems a bit inane and even creepy, and this new version of Alfie can't quite figure out what to do with its eponymous hero or how to feel about him. Law's character spends most of the movie yakking directly to the camera, endlessly re-stating versions of his personal philosophy ("It's all about FBB — face, boobs, buns)" and flitting from one woman to the next. Similarly, the movie flits from one Big Emotion to the next, starting out as a zippy and gleefully superficial ode to a superficial sex addict, and then executing some wild mood swings into unreservedly maudlin territory before swinging back again. The action's been transplanted from swinging '60s London to contemporary Manhattan, but otherwise the movie acts as if feminism, AIDS or even the notion of political correctness had never happened. Even during those moments when Law's character begins expressing something resembling remorse or the rudimentary stirrings of a conscience, the movie's not sharp enough to point out the multiple ironies implicit in the sadness. Marisa Tomei is very good here as one of Alfie's conquests, and there's a nice scene involving Susan Sarandon (another conquest) and some absinthe, but otherwise don't waste your time. Also stars Omar Epps, Nia Long and Sienna Miller.

BEING JULIA (NR) "Luminous" is a word that film critics tend to overuse when describing beautiful actresses lighting up the screen, beautifully, but hardly any other word will do for Annette Bening's career-topping performance here. The film itself is lushly mounted but otherwise pretty standard stuff — Bening plays an aging diva in 1930s London, engaged in a clandestine affair with a younger man — but Bening herself is on screen nearly every moment, and it's impossible to take our eyes off her. Director Istvan Szabo (Mephisto, Sunshine) invests the material with an appealingly light touch, lovely visual flourishes and as much wit as we might expect in what is essentially a pretty dull story. The film becomes better during a last act that manufactures some All About Eve-like backstage intrigue and runs with it, but the real reason to see the film is Bening, who is extraordinary. Also stars Jeremy Irons, Juliet Stevens and Michael Gambon. Currenttly Playing at Tampa Theatre and Burns Court Cinema. Call to confirm. 1/2

BRIDGET JONES: THE EDGE OF REASON (PG-13) Bridget Jones is far from happy as a pig in shit, but that's exactly where she lands — wallowing with a bunch of swine in a tub of excrement — within the first few minutes of this bouncy but not particularly pleasant sequel to the popular 2001 film. From there, it's a short step to extreme wide-angle close-ups of B.J.'s considerable bum (accompanied by an off-screen voice demanding "get a shot of that porker"), as Edge of Reason piles on scene after embarrassing scene where the game plan apparently equates maximum humiliation of its heroine with maximum laughter. Most of the movie simply retreads variations on the first film's familiar shtick, to somewhat more boring effect, but Edge of Reason's big mistake is falling over that critical fine line between laughing with its main character and laughing at her. The movie often feels like a chick flick designed by Three Stooges fans, with a klutzier, frumpier, blotchier and generally more pathetic Bridget falling all over herself while failing miserably at romance, and eventually winding up in a Thai prison where she hands out copies of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus to her female cellmates. Seriously. Stars Renee Zellweger, Colin Firth and Hugh Grant. 1/2

CHRISTMAS WITH THE KRANKS (PG) A holiday movie that's about as pleasant as the experience of sitting in a dentist's chair with a drill boring into your teeth. Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis play a married couple being guilt-tripped and virtually terrorized by their friends and neighbors because of their decision to take a vacation cruise rather than hang around and participate in the holidays. Things become even more chaotic when their grown daughter unexpectedly shows up, causing Allen and Curtis to put together a last-minute holiday extravaganza. The movie's first half amounts to a series of astonishingly unfunny sequences that beat us over the head with the commercialization of Christmas, while the second half does a complete about-face and makes with the sappy stuff. The film's only consistency is that it's frenetic and stupid throughout, with Curtis' performance mainly consisting of her running around and shrieking at the top of her lungs. Also stars Dan Akroyd and Julie Gonzalo.

FINDING NEVERLAND (PG) A holiday greeting card from Miramax, filled with gorgeous costumes, cute kids and posh English accents, Finding Neverland would appear to be a carefully calculated amalgamation of just about everything that appeals to Academy Awards voters. True enough, but it turns out the movie is also somewhat more than the sum of its pretty parts. The film depicts the friendship between Peter Pan creator J.M. Barrie (an unusually subdued Johnny Depp) and the five young sons of a beautiful young widow (Kate Winslet), giving us a romance, a coming-of-age tale, and an elaborate parlor game in which we're teased with the bits from Barrie's life that served as inspiration for his classic-to-be about a boy who refused to grow up. It's best to put history out of your mind here, since the movie whitewashes several key facts of Barrie's life, but then again Finding Neverland is a movie designed to lift spirits, not dash them. The film unfolds as a series of sweetly uplifting moments, fleeting mini-tragedies and whimsical fantasy interludes that eventually crystallize as Peter Pan. Mark Foster, a talented director previously responsible for the much grittier Monsters Ball, coaches solid performances from the cast and layers Neverland with pleasing symmetries, wit, and moments that make good on a clear intention to appear "magical." What we get is pleasant enough but a bit too pre-digested to take completely seriously. Also stars Radha Mitchell, Julie Christie and Dustin Hoffman. 1/2

THE GRUDGE (PG-13) Silly remake of a Japanese horror film that finds Sarah Michelle Gellar studying in Tokyo and working as an elderly caregiver whose first patient turns out to live in a cursed house. The house comes complete with a creature in the attic that has a penchant for killing all those who enter (except, strangely, real estate agents). The direction, by Takashi Shimizu (who directed the original as well), is stylish and delivers some nice thrills, especially in an atmospheric first act. Never before have Japanese children seemed so creepy! Unfortunately, the film is unable to sustain the suspense and quickly turns into a repetitive series of prefab shocks, with predictable musical cues underlying familiar frights. By the time the atrocious ending rolls around, any horror has long since left the screen. Besides, in an October that saw the Red Sox win the World Series, does anyone really believe in curses, anyway? —Joe Bardi

THE INCREDIBLES (PG) Having previously invested fish, bugs and tiny bits of plastic with human speech and emotions, Pixar have finally taken on real live human beings — and in honor of the occasion, they've opted for a slightly (but only slightly) more sophisticated, pop-culture-savvy approach. The Incredibles mines some familiar movie models — three parts action blockbuster to two parts classic spy flick, shaken not stirred, and complete with cool gadgets, dastardly arch-nemesis and a groovy Goldfinger-esque score. Like all of Pixar's little animated opuses, however, it is also essentially a love letter to the family unit, and although this smart and very funny movie's emotional center might be a touch less overtly warm and fuzzy than something like Finding Nemo, it still gets the job done nicely. Beyond that, the movie is filled with some spectacular animation and expertly realized action sequences, culminating in a final, Spy Kids-like blow-out where everyone gets a chance to strut their super stuff. And although it's become something of a cliche to say this about each new Pixar release, the results are pretty darned magical. Featuring the voices of Craig T. Nelson, Holly Hunter, Samuel L. Jackson and Jason Lee.

NATIONAL TREASURE (PG) Lightweight but entertaining yarn about a secret treasure hidden by the Founding Fathers, an invisible map on the back of the Declaration of Independence, and an enterprising treasure hunter (Nicholas Cage) who hopes to find what generations of his family members could not. The film could play as nothing more than an attempt to cash in on the massive success of The Da Vinci Code, but director Jon Turteltaub manage to keep the plot moving and the characters convincing. Cage is outstanding at the center of the film, always engaging and lending heft to the pseudo-history presented throughout the film (think of it more as name-dropping than actual history). The supporting players, including Diane Kruger as the love interest and Harvey Keitel as the cop investigating the case, are also terrific. Perhaps the film's biggest surprise is just how innocent it is, playing up adventure instead of violence and keeping the language mild. This one truly is for the whole family. —Joe Bardi

THE POLAR EXPRESS (G) An amazing technical achievement, but one with a very big heart (even if it does occasionally wear that heart a little too openly on its sleeve), Polar Express looks a lot like an instant holiday classic. Based on Chris Van Allsburg's popular book, this beautifully animated feature follows a magical train as it transports a group of children to the North Pole for a close encounter with the Clausmeister. Along the way, all sorts of strange things happen, things both inexplicably surreal and, sometimes, terribly exciting, and it all culminates in an irresistibly sappy message about the child-like joys of believing in believing. Director Robert Zemeckis handles the movie's frenetic action sequences in fine style, but is equally adept at communicating the atmospheric poetry of the long, nearly wordless stretches. Tom Hanks, whose voice and movements provided the template for no less than five of the movie's characters, is in fine form here as well, although there's still something just a little unintentionally creepy about watching digitally generated humans who are this close to being exactly like us, but aren't. Also features Eddie Deezen, Nona Gaye and Peter Scorlari.

RAY (PG-13) While not quite the modern American classic we were hoping for, Ray is still solid entertainment and a particular joy for Ray Charles fans. The movie presents Charles as a fusion of musical genius, tortured soul and Daredevil/Zatoichi (with an impressively developed hearing sense compensating for his blindness), and then dutifully walks us through the high and low points of his life. We get the music (thankfully, and lots of it), the childhood traumas, the drugs, the womanizing, the refusal to see blindness as a handicap, and the eventual rise to fame. The music is glorious, of course (with a heavy concentration on Ray's brilliant mid- to late-'50s period), and Jamie Foxx's performance/impersonation ranks with Jim Carrey's impeccable Andy Kaufman, but Ray is not immune to many of the problems that inevitably plague bio-pics. As is common with this form, the movie tends to play like a greatest hits (and flops) of Charles' life, with equal weight given to nearly everything, too much crammed in, and too little transitional material. The movie makes a stab at a narrative center, supplied by Ray's lifelong battle with heroin, but it's a battle we barely know is being waged until the movie's last few scenes. But these are basically minor bumps in what is for the most part a pretty groovy road. Also stars Kerry Washington and Regina King. 1/2

SAW (R) There's an intriguing set-up here — two confused victims waiting for death in a filthy bathroom — but it quickly gives way to scads of clumsy exposition, awful acting and miscalculated shock tactics borrowed from other, better movies. Saw is barely the sum of its own plundered parts, and it undercuts even that modicum of creepiness by constantly cutting away to a series of unnecessary subplots and flashbacks that dissipate the film's energy. It's only a horror flick, though, so all of this would be forgivable if the movie would just shut up occasionally and scare us. The movie is bound to be someone's guilty pleasure, and I suppose it does try to show us a good time (while calling into question just how we define "good time"), but too much of it is either laughably inept or gratuitously ugly. Stars Cary Elwes, Leigh Whannell, Danny Glover and Monica Potter. 1/2

SEED OF CHUCKY (R) Those demonic dolls are back again, and this time we get the whole dysfunctional family. Chucky and his evil bride, definitively dispatched in the last installment, are resurrected by their do-gooder son Glen, who just can't believe his parents are really all that bad. They are, of course, and mayhem ensues, much of it reportedly on a set for a Hollywood movie — a scenario bound to be milked for all sorts of postmodern irony. Featuring the voices of Brad Dourif and Jennifer Tilly. (Not Reviewed)

SHARK TALE (PG) Shark Tale takes the familiar fable of the brave little tailor and sets it in an underwater realm, with Will Smith giving voice to a poor little fish who becomes a celebrity when he's mistaken as a fearless shark slayer. There's also a big, scary-looking shark who just wants to cuddle, and a typical array of uplifting messages about the value of family, tolerance and being true to yourself. The computer-generated animation is as dazzling as we've come to expect in these big-budget CGI projects, but the movie's humor and incessant pop culture references seem to consist largely of leftovers from Shrek. Featuring the voices of Jack Black, James Gandolfini, Angelina Jolie, Renee Zellweger and Martin Scorsese. 1/2

SIDEWAYS (R) Alexander Payne's latest film, like the director's previous About Schmidt, is a road movie that easily transcends its own sub-genre, a tragi-comic quest with no clear objectives but lots of priceless detours. There's no real end in sight, but it hardly matters; the fun is all in how we get there (or not). Sideways is also a buddy movie of sorts, a testosterone comedy that serves as a playful, sometimes painful and always spot-on dissection of the male psyche as it lurches toward middle age. The aging male buddies in question are a classic odd couple, depressed wannabe author Miles (Paul Giamatti) and cocky, washed-up actor Jack (Thomas Haden Church), two old pals spending some time together in California's wine country during the week before Jack's wedding. Sideways is not only incisive but also extremely funny as it goes about the business of detailing Jack's and Miles' excellent adventure, observing our not-quite-heroes as they hook up with a couple of wine-loving California girls and have themselves a fine old time built on the proverbial tissue of lies. Payne's film sneaks up on us in exactly the way its title suggests, zigging and zagging and segueing unconventionally but organically from scene to scene, bowling us over with beautifully drawn characters and unpredictable trajectories that somehow make perfect sense. Also stars Virginia Madsen and Sandra Oh. (Currently playing at Burns Court and Sunrise cinemas. Call theaters to confirm.) 1/2

THE SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS MOVIE (PG) Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Yep, it's Nickelodeon's favorite son, that little ol' absorbent, yellow pop culture icon, making the leap from the living room boob tube to your neighborhood megaplex. There are a few snags along the way — the movie has trouble holding our interest for nearly 90 minutes, mostly owing to an overly conventional storyline (Spongebob and Patrick embark on a quest to retrieve King Neptune's crown) that tries too hard to mold itself for the big screen. Still, that patented blend of wide-eyed nonsense and gleeful anarchy remains pretty much intact and there are periodic bursts of absurd brilliance that make it all worthwhile (a pectorally gifted David Hasselhoff, and Spongebob and Patrick getting drunk on ice cream are only a few examples). The world of Bikini Bottom seems to work better in small doses, but any excuse to spend some time with Mr. Squarepants — the Pee-Wee Herman of his generation — is OK with me. Featuring the voices of Alec Baldwin, Clancy Brown, Rodger Bumpass and Bill Fagerbakke. 1/2

WHAT THE #$*! DO WE KNOW? (NR) An unsatisfying and unintentionally bizarre mish-mash of talking heads, animated sequences and a more-or-less straight narrative about a grumpy photographer (Marlee Matlin) who gets her worldview kicked in the ass, What the Bleep … offers up a veritable Dummy's Guide to The Universe. The movie distills the principles of quantum physics into a basic message, endlessly repeated, that we make our reality, hence our own happiness, and frames that message as fuzzy-headed mystical claptrap that begins to seem like a New Age recruitment film or maybe even a classic Kurt Vonnegut parody. The talking heads — a mix of scientists and spiritualists (including famous psychic J Z Knight channeling the 35,000-year-old sage Ramtha) offer up their psycho-babbling soundbites and quasi-mystical wisdom as Matlin's character acts out their theories in a series of curious little vignettes that culminate with her transformation from angst-ridden sourpuss to smiling child of the universe. Despite a sprinkling of intriguing concepts, the film gives metaphysics a bad name. Also stars Barry Newman and Elaine Hendrix. (Currently playing at Sunrise Cinemas. Call theater to confirm.) 1/2

ZELARY (NR) An elegantly photographed but overlong tale of opposites attracting, told against a backdrop of war and the local color of a small Eastern European village. Eliska (Ana Geislerova) is a young resistance fighter in the Nazi-occupied Czechoslovakia of 1943 who discovers that the Germans are on to her. Fleeing to the Moravian countryside, the feisty city girl assumes the identity of the doting wife of a local farmer and attempts to blend in with the unsophisticated salt-of-the-earth types who inhabit the area. Director Ondrej Trojan has an eye for detail, contrasting the natural beauty of Eliska's new surroundings with the rough and sometimes despicable behavior of the locals, but the story here doesn't really warrant the film's 150-minute running time. Eliska's marriage of convenience eventually transforms into a love connection, as we knew it would, and the culture clash between urban and rural life fades. Even the global war raging just in the distance ultimately becomes a mere footnote in a relationship we've seen all too often on the screen. Also stars Gyorgy Gserhalmi and Jaroslava Adamova. Currently playing at Sunrise Cinemas. Call theater to confirm.

Reviewed entries by Lance Goldenberg unless otherwise noted.

This article appears in Dec 1-7, 2004.