Hollywood's silly season is upon us once again, and a staggering number of movies are set to open huge, decline precipitously and be released on DVD before you can say "Happy Halloween." But which blockbuster is right for you? Read on …
I'm nostalgic for summer blockbusters of yore
Go see: Super 8
Director J.J. Abrams looks to solidify his status as Steven Spielberg's heir apparent with Super 8 (June 10), a kid-centric monster movie set in the late 1970s that seemingly lifts every aspect of Spielberg seminal films (Jaws, E.T., Close Encounters) and repurposes them for a modern audience. Before you start shouting "Thief!" and "Hack!" you should know that Spielberg is on board as executive producer, and if there's anyone who actually deserves mention in the same breath with the aging boomer master, it's Abrams. He's spun gold on TV (Lost, Alias, Fringe) and done well at the box office (the Star Trek reboot being his biggest hit to date), mostly thanks to an engaging visual style and a deep understanding of what it takes to enthrall an audience (i.e., he's always got a trick up his sleeve). If Super 8 the film is half as good as its trailer (which was the best trailer of any movie coming out this summer), we might really have something special here.
I'm a comic book fanatic!
Go see: Nothing until next summer
This summer is loaded with comic book adaptations, including the already released Thor and the upcoming Priest (May 13), X-Men: First Class (June 3), The Green Lantern (June 17), Captain America: The First Avenger (July 22) and Cowboys and Aliens (July 29). That said, next year's slate is even better, with new cinematic adventures for Batman and Spiderman, and the superhero orgasm that is The Avengers. (And don't forget the re-re-booted Superman, which arrives just in time for Thanksgiving 2012.) Compared to those future coming attractions, 2011 looks like the B-team. If you have to pick one, go with The Green Lantern, which features Ryan Reynolds in the starring role and is directed by Martin Campbell, the Bond vet behind Goldeneye and Casino Royale.
I've seen all the Harry Potter movies so far!
Go see: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
Why stop now? You've invested years of your life, hundreds of your dollars (or more) and incalculable amounts of brainspace on young Harry and his wizarding pals. Yes, lots of fans found Part 1 a talky bore, but the powers-that-be (studio marketing reps) are working very hard to convince you that Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 (July 15) is a balls-to-the-wall cinematic adventure. And you will buy it! At this point, the movie could be little more than a static shot of Daniel Radcliffe reading directly from J.K. Rowling's gargantuan final tome and I'm guessing the audience would sit in rapt attention. If you're not a Potter fan and haven't seen any of the movies (all three of you out there), you're pretty much out of luck at this point.
I'm an adult who wants to see a movie over July 4th weekend
Go see: Larry Crowne
July 1 sees the release of several huge movies, the biggest of which is the latest Michael Bay abortion Transformers: Dark of The Moon. If watching incomprehensible action scenes (this time in 3D, no less) isn't your thing, check out Larry Crowne, the latest directorial effort from Hollywood everyman Tom Hanks. Hanks stars as the titular Crowne, a Navy vet laid off from his longtime gig at a big-box store, who ends up back in school and falling in love with a frumped-up Julia Roberts. Hanks has done well before in the director's chair (That Thing You Do is a minor classic), and here he's got a secret weapon: Nia Vardalos (My Big Fat Greek Wedding) helped pen the script.
I'm an iconoclastic genius who only sees movies once every 15 years or so
Go see: Tree of Life
The movie business has encountered its share of odd iconoclasts incapable of doing it any way but their own. But on any list of oddball filmmakers, Terrence Malick stands alone. The genius behind 1970s classics Badlands and Days of Heaven fell off the map throughout the 1980s and early '90s before returning with 1998's critically acclaimed (though low-grossing) The Thin Red Line. Jump ahead 13 more years, and here we are on the eve of the release of Malick's latest, The Tree of Life (May 27). Malick has supposedly been shooting this movie for years, yet details are scarce. We know that Brad Pitt and Sean penn star in this story about fatherhood set in the 1950s, and that somehow the family drama makes a pitstop in the prehistoric days of the dinosaur. Other than that, expect an incredibly well-crafted movie with great appeal for cinephiles but little to attract the teeming hordes of pre-pubescent summer moviegoers.
I'm an animal lover who's a glutton for punishment
Go see: Rise of the Planet of The Apes
Ok, so star James Franco isn't quite the white-hot ball of fame he was toward the end of 2011; the guy's still a hell of an actor who makes interesting work choices. So what the hell is Mr. Oscars doing in the umpteenth Planet of the Apes sequel? (Or is it a reboot? I can't keep track anymore.) Rise of the Planet of the Apes (Aug. 5) looks in previews to be a far more interesting take on this material than the Tim Burton/Marky Mark collaboration of a few years ago. Credit the stunning special effects that animate the faces of the apes, giving them the ability to express emotion clearly to the audience. Now, if only Franco can do the same.
This article appears in May 12-18, 2011.