With the Loafies on Tuesday, I am getting ready for a little awards show action. What better way to prepare for my acceptance speech (I'm winning a Loafie for something, right?) than to watch the MTV VMAs?

My favorite part of any awards show is the red carpet, generally…but this is the VMAs so I know the best is yet to come, so briefly, here are my thoughts on the red carpet arrivals:

• Lady Gaga is Phantoming it up in that mask. And I have to say I feel that Kermit has actually downgraded from Miss Piggy, as we are not certain that Gaga ( right) is technically a Lady.

• Shakira and Pink are in the same dress. This is a disaster, seriously, whose dress is that? Who let that happen? Some poor assistant at a New York fashion house is about to join the unemployment line.

• Alicia Keys looks adorable! I am in love with that dress. That woman is the picture of sophistication lately.

• Now, onto the show where we will discuss Kanye's diss, Gaga's bleeding, Pink's Boob and more….

This article appears in Dec 2-8, 2000.