"Maybe we're preparing ourselves for the next chapter of our lives." August 17, 2009. 2:16 am. That's what I told my friend Efren after watching Explicit Ills starring Rosario Dawson.

When Mother died (side: I always wanted to refer to my mom as "Mother" like they used to in old movies), I felt like our relationship wasn't necessarily over. I kinda felt like she prepared me for what to expect after her physical body expired.

"Now when I die, Courtney, I'm gonna come back and talk to you," she told me.

Whatever, creep. I knew she was serious, though. It's just kind of a mind-fuck when shit really does happen.

This article appears in Aug 26 – Sep 1, 2009.