I’m not “going ham”, I’m going lobster. Layer after layer, shedding my lesser self. A few years ago, a friend told me how inspired she was in learning how lobsters grow. Since hearing about it, I’ve tried to bear their process in mind, as a form of encouragement.
Transformation isn’t easy, on any level or for any species. How lobsters molt reminds me of what it takes for us to transform our lives on a fundamental level. We cast off our transient identity, like their previous shell. Their previous shell serves a purpose in protecting their vulnerability but once they grow more inside the hard shell, it no longer serves its function. So they have to cast their hardened shell off. That process exposes their vulnerable selves/bodies, so they have to go hide under a rock or something similar until they finish the process of growing their new shell, a shell that fits them.
I wonder if I’m going through all this shedding and growth only to be trapped and consumed.
I remember watching a bunch of lobsters sitting in a bubbly tank at Red Lobster while waiting for my pick-up during an Uber Eats delivery run. As they waved around their rubber band-bound claws, I thought of T.I.’s “Rubber Band Man” song. The trap music classic with the lyrics “but why the rubber band? it representin' the struggle man” serving as a literal bind between the plight of lobsters and oppressed peoples.
Editor’s note: Yuki Jackson is raising money for phase one of her project to establish an arts and tutoring center in the majority, and historically, Black Tampa neighborhood of Sulphur Springs. She hopes to secure an empty lot across from a K-8 public school and build the center there in phase two. More information is at GoFundMe.
Oppression both serving as a pair of shackles restricting my movement and necessary pressure to uncover my highest self. It’s indeed a painful process, one that I don’t wish upon anyone nor yearn for myself. But the truth is, all the greats had to endure tremendous pressure in order to power up. It’s not to tolerate or encourage abuse or persecution, but to recognize its function. Those who set out on a mission to emancipate others experience imprisonment. This imprisonment comes in many forms and makes it appear that those trapped under its construct, cannot escape.
But we do. Even when under a constraint, movement is made. The exhale of freedom comes with every breath. Proof that we are alive and able to push forward. Our will to live, the force that drives us. Our desire to leave behind what’s needed for the next generation, even if it kills us. Like Nichiren Daishonin writes: “Since death is the same in either case, you should be willing to offer your life…” I don’t see these words as a call to throw our lives away. Rather, I see it as a call to live our lives fully, for the most profound purpose. No doubt, it's hard. And like those shells that we keep breaking through—we were born to do this.
Lobster No.1
for a long time,
we were for the poorest
caught in traps
dropped on the ocean floor
bound
with oxygen
to survive the journey
fresh as possible
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This article appears in Apr 22-28, 2021.