With the Super Bowl just a few days away, the temptation is to write a story explaining why the Saints will dominate the Colts, or vice versa. Those stories, like most Super Bowls, are boring. So to help liven things up, here’s a game to help the big game a little bit more fun.
Assuming you attend some sort of Super Bowl party, the first thing you’ll want to do is to divide yourselves into two teams. Any method is fine, whether you have a draft, or stack your team with the hotties your best friend brought over. However you do it, make sure to designate which team will represent the Colts and which will be the Saints.
Throughout the game, take one drink for every touchdown by your team, and drink twice every time the opponent scores. For variation, you can drink per point — three for a field goal, seven on the touchdowns. Take a drink for every turnover by your team and every sack.
Beware of flags in this game. Penalty flags equal one drink, which likely won’t be too bad, since these teams have been well-disciplined all year. What you’ll want to beware of, though, are the challenges. Any time a coach throws out the red flag, drink for five seconds. If somehow the coach throws the flag and it hits either a player or official, just drain your whole drink.
When it comes to commercials, take one drink apiece for the following: a cartoon character interacting with a live person, a talking animal, a talking baby, a human dressed as an animal, a horse, a reptile, and anything GoDaddy. Abstain from drinking for the duration of the Tim Tebow commercial. It shouldn’t be too hard with the debate likely to break out.
There are a few other things to watch out for. Make sure to take a sip every time you see Kim Kardashian and Archie Manning. Whenever a player loses a helmet, take another sip. If you hear the phrase “Tony Dungy’s team," just finish your drink.
Ultimately, this article is just a series of guidelines more than rules. Take them as suggestions and make the game your own.
As far as the game goes, my prediction is that the Colts march all over the Saints by about 24 points. But my bias is for Peyton Manning, for all his great service this year on my fantasy team. Enjoy the game.
This article appears in Feb 3-9, 2010.