In the latest study about how yummy and fun things we consume are going to end up killing us, we learned that processed meats, including bacon, ham, and sausage are the new culprits — but not for the usual reason.
For a long time, the powers that be told us that these foods are bad for our cardiovascular health. Then a couple of years ago they changed their tune. Saturated fats aren’t nearly as harmful as initially believed.
With a collective “Hell yeah!,” we promptly motor-boated big ol’ plate of crispy bacon. And we saw that it was good.
That is until recently, when some jokers, or the World Health Organization, whatever, told us that processed meats cause colorectal cancer; that if we consume 50 grams of processed meat a day we increase our risk of this deadly disease by 18 percent. They’re pretty sure red meat is linked to cancer too, and you can bet researchers are going to Mulder and Scully the hell out of that one. Also, and this is paraphrasing, but they essentially said grilling and pan frying meats will kill you dead, ‘cause of carcinogens created by cooking meat on high heat.
While vegans everywhere gloat, the rest of us now have to live with the nagging thought in the back of our minds that we’re inviting cancer when we eat weird yet delightful meat hybrids like pepperoni, beef jerky, and that mechanically separated chicken we turn into nuggets.
As if the WHO study wasn’t bad enough, another study’s possibly more conflicting findings were published by the Johns Hopkins Kimmel Cancer Center this year after they discovered that two-thirds of adult cancers are random — just bad luck — and are not related to heredity or lifestyle at all. What are we supposed to do with that?
I’m here to say, Stop It! Stop with the never ending cancer warnings, please and thank you. Rationally, of course, we should know about these findings, because after all, anything to avoid getting cancer, but maybe we should all just accept that we’re going to get it and then count ourselves lucky if we die in a fiery car crash and can skip the chemo and the long, slow suffering.
We’re told that cancer lurks in every cigarette, every cocktail, and now in every savory piece of animal flesh that has grill marks. The air we breathe hosts all kinds carcinogenic emissions, never mind all the time even we non-smokers have spent breathing secondhand smoke at the Emerald.
I’ll admit, I’m scared as hell of cancer. I, like so many of us, have lost loved ones to this c-word of a disease. But living in fear sucks.
Maybe it’s best to adopt the sage wisdom that Guns N' Roses impart in their song "Mr. Brownstone:" “… I don't worry about nothin' no, cause worryin's a waste of my time.”
After all, it likely won’t be long before we find out that worrying causes cancer.
This article appears in Nov 12-18, 2015.