What with Phillies phans setting fires, breaking windows and toppling cars on Broad Street, we got to wondering: What would the celebration have been like in St. Pete if the Rays had stayed alive and won the World Series at Tropicana Field? Here's a few things we might've seen. Feel free to add your own in comments.
• Drunk, belligerent Rays fans taunt Philly backers by pelting them with onion rings from Ferg’s.
• Several cars blow tires after driving over discarded cowbells.
• Crazed fans overturn St. Pete’s downtown Looper.
• Mons Venus strippers offer discounted lap dances on the B-ring catwalk.
• Two-block ticker tape parade scheduled for Sunday is postponed as to not conflict with Bucs game.
• Rick Baker gets dragged out of the Mayor’s mansion and Rayhawked.
• Uhuru’s condemn rioting; serve breakfast instead.
• Old Northeast residents seen hugging homeless people. Homeless promise one-day moratorium on panhandling.
• People from North Tampa wake up the next morning, sip their coffee and wonder, “The Tampa bay who? They won what?”
• Brian Blair rips phone book in half.
• Pirates II suspends shooting on the HMS Bounty so porn stars can get dressed and join the party.
• Jubilant fans consider ripping up pieces of artificial turf for souvenirs but see police and think better of it.
• Rabid fans run up the five steps of City Hall mocking the Rocky theme.
This article appears in Oct 29 – Nov 4, 2008.