What's your gym personality? Try techie junkie, awkward starer, miss chatterbox and more

Lately, I haven’t been sleeping very well. Friends and family tell me that it is because I am living alone for the first time in my life. Perhaps this is true but what I’ve discovered from my newly poor sleeping habits is my appreciation of dawn.

On the few nights when I grow tired, I’ll rise to the occasion by wearing the most comfortable pajamas I own, fix myself some Chamomile tea and hop into bed as soon as possible. This usually occurs at about 7:30p.m. Tragically, I’ll wake up at about 5:30a.m. bright-eyed, rested, smiling but with no one to talk to. After lying in bed for about 30 to 45 minutes deciding what to do with myself, I decide to take the opportunity to use my subdivision’s gym. The best part about this: I will be the only one there.

In my earlier posts, I know I’ve made myself pretty clear on the fact that I like to workout, I enjoy the adrenaline rushes, and fitness is slowly taking over my life, but when it comes to gyms, I have a lot of hang-ups when it comes to gym personalities.

My first personality hang-up is an individual that I like to call a Techie Junkie. You know who I’m talking about: the person that walks into the gym with their blue tooth popped into their ear, turns on the TV to watch the emotionally unhealthy show Cheaters, and then puts their iPod in the other ear. This type of person does not belong in an enclosed setting with equipment surrounding he or she. Rather, this individual needs to venture outdoors where it can receive the same amount, (if not, more) of sensory overload that it requires to workout. I was once told that a brisk walk outdoors can healthily stimulate your mind and senses just as much as a cell phone, mP3 player, and a thrilling episode of COPS.

The Awkward Starer is another odd gym personality that I’ve had the unfortunate case of encountering. This person either stares in the mirror at their bodies as they incorrectly flex their muscles or uncoordinatedly run on a treadmill or they stare at every other body around them. This type of individual needs to hire a trainer. Not only will it cure them of their staring, boost their gym confidence, but it will also take the pressure off the surrounding bodies, for crying out loud.

The third and final annoying gym personality is very self-explanatory. She exists in almost every gym and yes, I said she. Miss Chatterbox, please shut up. I am not sweating bullets to listen to you talk about your love life or lack thereof. And no, just because our elliptical machines are next to one another I am not here to make friends so small talk with you is out of the question. So, please, shut up or stay home.

To conclude this minor vent-session, I’d like to apologize ahead of time to anyone I may have offended. Perhaps a Junk Food t-shirt illustrating your gym behavior would be a suitable alternative to help you take a hint, yes?

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