Tip Toland’s “Milk for the Butter Thief.” Credit: jamesostrand.com

Sheryl Crow was wrong: The first cut isn't the deepest. The deepest cut is the deepest. Friday, let me pull this knife out of my back.

There. That's better.

How dare you, Friday? I trusted you, man. I believed in you. When Monday slapped me in the face, I held on to your promises of a quiet weekend. And what do you bring me? You bring me race cars. Race cars. It's like I don't even know you anymore.

How am I supposed to get to the Museum of Fine Arts in downtown St. Pete to see Measured Life: Works by Vicky Colombet, Babs Reingold and Tip Toland? Oh, hey, don't bother clicking on that, because it's such a surprise there's no info about it on their website. Cool story: In the middle of looking through their massive stored items (20,000-plus pieces of art, which makes me feel like a real jerk for not having better organized closets at my house), Curator of Contemporary Art Katherine Pill realized the MFA had some things that would make a small — but powerful — exhibit. I had a sneak peek, and the Tip Toland piece in the center of the Lee Malone gallery is worth the trip, but there's more, too — read Caitlin Albritton's review.

We're in luck, because the race course stops two streets south of the MFA, so if you want to see this — and you do want to see this — before you head over to watch Movies on the Lawn at North Straub Park Friday night (in keeping with the theme, they'll show Cars), might we suggest parking elsewhere (say, the west end of Central Avenue) and having dinner at Alesia before taking the Central Avenue Trolley downtown?

Made by a trained professional on a closed course. Do not attempt at home. Credit: Chip Weiner

If you hate the idea of downtown St. Pete during the St. Pete Grand Prix "festivities" (it's no secret where I stand on the race, is it?), spend your Friday night Under African Skies. Well, sort of. One City Ministries presents its annual A Day in the Life of a Village Girl at the The Bayanihan Cultural Arts and Event Center Friday night. The night includes performances, stories from the field, and a look at the approaches the organizers hope will change the face of Africa. The event includes dinner, so you'll have to wait for Saturday to see whether or not you think Drama Burger is awesome. I'm hoping for awesome.

The reason you'll be in Tampa on Saturday (other than, you know, you might live there) is the reception for eight Cuban artists at the University of Tampa's Scarfone/Hartley Gallery. The show's called Growing Up in Neverland and we'll let you extrapolate what to expect when we send you to a Cuban art exhibit so titled.

In Dunedin and have a pet? Show your support for all things animal with Suncoast Animal League's March Mutt Madness. I mean, how can you resist things like Dancing with the Paws and Fido Idol? (Plus, we think Suncoast Animal League's Rick Chaubody is the bomb-diggity and that you should support his awesome efforts. We also think we need a better phrase than "bomb-diggity").

If you're brave enough to hit the St. Pete side of things, the Craftsman House Gallery is hosting an ice cream social. This isn't any old ice cream social —The Ice Cream Show features 1950s-inspired ceramic ice cream dishes by Stacy Larson and free ice cream samples from Urban Creamery. No word on how many samples you can get before they cut you off, but if you buy a dish you get a free sundae.

Don’t try this at home, either. It’s not dangerous, but seriously, just… don’t. Credit: Bay Area Renaissance Festival

Sunday arrives with a not-insignificant chance of rain, which could make for some fiery (and tragic, and we totally do not wish that on anyone) crashes at the Grand Prix. Stay inside and sulk, or head to Lenny's in Clearwater for the requisite basket of danish. On that 20% chance that it doesn't rain, soak up all that danish with mac and cheese at the Seminole Heights Mac & Cheese Cook-Off. And hey, when you're done, head over to the Ren Fest. Don't do that thing you do every year where you say you're going to go and then you don't, OK? Because your queen needs you, y'all. Besides, it's Pirates and Pets weekend.

I'll never forget what you did to me, Friday, but I can forgive. Maybe. It's going to take some time and a lot of work on your part. A lot of work. And don't you dare come at me with that St. Pete Grand Prix souvenir mug, because I will smash it over your head.

This article appears in Feb 25 – Mar 2, 2016.