I remember our first VCR. It had a wired remote (yeah, I know) and cost about $800. My mom couldn't work it. I rolled my eyes a lot trying to teach her, because I was a teenager and teenagers love to roll their motherfucking eyes. Why? Because how hard could it be? Jesus, mom.
Let's fast forward to, oh, this week. My mom rocks her iPad. VCRs only exist in my weekly diatribes about why I deserve this weekend, dammit, and so do you. But something happened this week, Loafers: The Away Gods (that's what we call our web team, because we're not sure where they're based… Mars? A bunker in the Bronx? Anyone's guess, really) gave us a new website. It's pretty, right? Much nicer than our old digs. Plenty more room to stretch. Problem is, our back end — the staging area of our website, if you will — changed, too. And guess who was so busy trying not to turn into her dad that she turned into her mom? (Stop laughing, Mother.) Yeah. This girl, who stood at Scott's desk Wednesday, almost in tears because she just wasn't getting why she needed to select a section twice. (Did you just roll your eyes at me, Millennials? I can see you out there, you know!)
Point is, it's been a long week. Thankfully, a few more hours and we have ourselves a weekend. Here's how I intend to make it all better:
Friday night I'm heading to Alésia on Central for a nice bowl of pho and a couscous salad, then I'm going to feel the Burn at freeFall Theatre's Mr. Burns: A Post Electric Play. I don't know what to expect other than awesome, so no pressure, freeFall. So, the world has ended and the most important thing for anyone to do is try and remember the specifics or a particular Simpsons episode. Because really, you have nothing but time.
Saturday morning I'm not going to want to go far, but I may venture to the Dali to check out Disney & Dali. Apparently Fantasia has a touch of the surreal in it… After that, Riverfest is the best way to enjoy the urbanized part of the Hillsborough River without fear of becoming gator bait. Also, there's the Mayor's Mac and Cheese Throwdown. I'm not gluttonous; I'm perimenopausal — I need my calcium. (Note: Riverfest runs all weekend, but the Throwdown, which comes with a separate ticket, only takes place from 4-7:30 p.m. Saturday.)
In case I haven't fully gorged myself on mac and cheese sandwiches (certainly there'll be a tomato soup vendor nearby, right?) I'll pop back over the bridge to Pinellas to check out Kegs and Collections Saturday night at the MFA — it's the public unveiling of the Great Bay Distributors corporate art collection, curated by Chad Mize. There's also beer-themed food, donuts and (of course) beer.
Back on Tampa side, there's a 9 p.m. screening of Purple Rain, which is an awesome way to remember Prince but sad because, well, he's dead. Tampa Theatre's showing the film for free, because they're awesome like that.
Sunday brings brunch and flamingos. It's a long story, but Sunken Gardens used to have a flamboyance of them (seriously, that's what you call a group of flamingos) and then they only had two, but now they have more. To celebrate, Sunday afternoon you can attend Flamingo Fest (St. Pete doesn't need much of reason to throw a party, does it?) and — bonus — and, oh look, you can grab a CL Deal to get a half-price family membership. (Shameless plug level: Maximum.) Since members get in early, that means you (and I) can get in at 11, but that still leaves puh-lenty of time to brunch. While St. Pete has no dearth of uber-trendy brunch spots, there's something about Kissin' Cuzzins that makes me delirious with hunger. The sausage. The grits. The Bloodies.
The weekend ends Sunday afternoon with a 4 p.m. showing of The Maids at Jobsite.
It's almost all better, which is a good thing, because Monday's lurking the shadows.
And so is that website. Maybe I'll send in my mom…
This article appears in Apr 28 – May 4, 2016.