Grand Hacienda
2 out of 5 stars
399 11th Ave. N., St. Petersburg. Starters: $5-$16; entrees: $8-$30; desserts: $5.50-$12.50: beer, cocktails & wines by the glass: $3.25-$20. 727-256-9770. hmexrestaurant.com.
When I first see the expansiveness of the Grand Hacienda menu, I’m excited that maybe we’re adding an upscale Mexican spot to Tampa Bay’s mix of options for this popular cuisine. We arrive at the St. Pete Beach-born restaurant’s second location in St. Petersburg on a weekday only to be put on a waiting list. The joint is jumping.
The new restaurant, opened in May, is an attractive space featuring booths, tables, a huge bar with lots of hanging glasses, and a fun constellation of 3-D star pendant lights. Oh, and Mexican tiles — plenty of beautiful painted tiles. Plus, a large sign at the bar with giant letters reminding diners that they’re in a “GRAND HACIENDA.”
A molcajete of salsa and a big bowl of crisp chips arrives soon after we’re seated. The salsa is sauce-like rather than fresh and chunky, and it doesn’t pop. We pick at it while deciding on drinks and starters.
My table chooses both red and white sangria. As the red sangria arrives, our server announces that Grand Hacienda is out of its white variety — indicating that it’s an inferior premixed product. Any decent bar can mix a fresh batch of sangria as long as they have wine. This isn’t a good sign; sipping the red sangria only confirms my fears. It’s tart and watery without any complexity or fruity goodness. In fact, the only fruit in sight is two thin citrus slices as garnish. In place of the white sangria, we ask for a frozen margarita. A huge glass arrives, but it’s oddly gray and slushy, more slurpy than a transporting mix of tequila, orange and lime.
The guacamole sampler sounds like a great way to explore exciting flavors. What comes out of the kitchen almost immediately is a rectangular plate with three large scoops. One traditional, the second sprinkled with diced mango and pineapple bits, and a third with jicama and pepino melon dusted with tajin spices. I envision a Henry Ford assembly line. Sadly, the base guac is overloaded with onion, which renders the flavor way out of balance and unappealing. We manage a few bites.
OK, now it’s time to play Family Feud. Top five answers on the board. What is a word describing Mexican food? Spicy! (Ding, ding, ding…) Yes, that’s the No. 1 answer. I’m pleased to see a Mexican fiesta sampler among the appetizers. It’ll test the mettle of the kitchen, and see what kind of fiery wonders are in store. Out comes a delightful-looking platter: chicken quesadilla (bland), one beef and one chicken taquito (bland), a small portion of bean nachos (bland), a tamale (bland), and esquite, Mexican grilled corn with queso fresco, lime, piquin pepper and mayo chili (bland).
One taster quips, “It’s like corn with mayonnaise.”
This is Mexican food missing any delightful kick. Perhaps the entrees will be more authentic.
Orale tacos are Corona-battered cod topped with red cabbage, pico de gallo and Baja dressing. They’re accompanied by a bowl of (bland) cilantro-lime rice and Mexico-style coleslaw. The garnishes are important because the fish is, you guessed it, bland.
Carnitas is a plate of slow-cooked pulled pork — “from the recipe winner of the best carnitas in La Piedad Michoacán Mexico” — served with rice, a choice of beans, onions, pickled jalapeños and a few warm tortillas. The pork is lovely, but one-dimensional. Although there’s a large portion, it’s ultimately boring.
Mexico City enchiladas suizas is the only one of our choices packing any flavorful punch. Filled with shredded chicken, the flour tortillas are topped with a lively green tomatillo sauce, crumbled queso, sprinkles of cilantro and avocado slices served with rice, beans, sour cream, lettuce and tomato. It’s the first dish that thrills.
Both underseasoned and overcooked, the tropical salmon salad isn’t a winning combination. The fish sits on a bed of spinach and crisp lettuce with mango-pineapple pico de gallo and creamy sliced avocado, as well as some walnuts and cranberries in a balsamic vinaigrette. The plate is visually appealing, yet the 8-ounce fillet of Atlantic salmon, which should be the star, is sabotaged. While salmon is an oily fish, it needs to be moist and lush. The protein sings with a sprinkling of coarse salt and freshly cracked pepper. A spritz of lemon can brighten it up on your palate, but it can’t rescue a fillet where basic technique fails.
The restaurant’s desserts fare a little better. However, there are also some unforced errors. The white chocolate key lime mousse is a frozen wedge that’s nearly impossible to eat. I manage to chip off a piece, place it on a fork with my fingers, and move it to my mouth. Eventually, it softens and displays beautiful flavors. But who wants what should be an airy delight served as a brick? Homemade flan is gelatinous and grayish, perhaps from the brandy and Kahlúa. There isn’t much sauce, which is what elevates this custard. Luckily, the other sweets included fried ice cream and a churro cart.
I’ve been privileged to visit Mexico several times, in the city and on the coasts, and eat everything from street food to haute cuisine with locals as my guide. The flavors are complex and transporting. My fear at Mexican restaurants at home and abroad is usually that I can’t handle the authentic spice. I don’t know what’s going on at Grand Hacienda, unless it’s meant to be Mexican cuisine for beginners.
CL Food Critic Jon Palmer Claridge dines anonymously when reviewing. Check out the explanation of his rating system, or email him at food@creativeloafing.com.
