- "If Winnie-the-Pooh ever took to the bottle, this is exactly what he'd want."
- "I look forward to the next ad—of my head, photo-shopped onto Barney Fife's naked body torturing a puppy."
- Emeril's new show focussed on local and organic ingredients? "The series is shot exclusively at Whole Foods Market."
- Fish stick recall affects Florida: "At first the company thought the objects might be chunks of batter or bread crumbs, but they said today that they were indeed pills."
- "And buy really expensive ketchups with it. That’s right, all the fanciest ke… dijon ketchups!"
This article appears in Feb 27 – Mar 4, 2008.