I know what you’re thinking: Chris, you’re a little early. No. No, I’m not. Planning ahead will make this your best Gasparilla to date. And besides, it’s never too early to talk about rum.
Mainly, though, I’m referring to hydration. If you start drinking water now (and lots of it) you’ll reduce Jan. 31’s post-Gasparilla hangover by 72 percent, and that’s unscientifically proven, my buccaneer friends. However, by using this method before the Invasion last year, I woke up the following Sunday morning hangover-free. And lucky for me because, due to unforeseen events, I was unable to go home. What did I do instead? Boated to downtown Tampa’s Sail Pavilion for screwdrivers.
Of course, I’m not here to discuss the benefits of H2O — it’s Gasparilla. Prepare your alcohol stashes!
For this week’s beverage, you’ll need The Captain, or another spiced rum, to channel you and your drinking mates’ inner pirates. Though I’m sure the mythical José Gaspar didn’t imbibe anything nearly as tasty as the following concoction, that’s not our fault.
One of the biggest mistakes you can make while (all-day) day drinking is consuming too much sugar. Since sugar is typically hangover fuel, we’re creating a delicious big-batch punch that’s balanced, so you can sip for as long as you please.
I photographed the drink, which also calls for coconut rum and a variety of fruit juices, in a nice glass for presentation purposes. But make no mistake, it’s meant for a giant dispenser and Solo cups, just the way Gaspar would’ve wanted.
Cannonball Cool-arrr
Makes a little under 1 gallon
2 cups spiced rum
2 cups coconut rum
2 cups orange liqueur
2 cups orange juice
2 cups pineapple juice
2 cups cranberry juice
1 cup grapefruit juice
Combine all ingredients in a large punch bowl, drink dispenser or cooler. Stir and serve over ice in nonbreakable drinkware.
Follow @cfasick on Twitter, or email him at cdfasick@gmail.com if there's a cocktail or recipe you'd like featured.
This article appears in Jan 14-20, 2016.