Texas de Brazil
3.5 out of 5 stars
4112 W. Boy Scout Blvd., Tampa. Dinner: $47; salad only: $25; desserts: $8.75; wines by the glass: $10-$19. 813-871-1400; texasdebrazil.com.
I'm back to Boy Scout Boulevard for the second time this month to check out another upscale chain. The spring rain is falling, and the traffic near Tampa's International Plaza looks like a parking lot. After a quick look at my iPad, I try a workaround as the rain continues, slipping onto the one-way westbound service road leading to Texas de Brazil. The entire block looks like a used car lot. I pass on the left and double park, rolling down my window to yell toward the valet station for help. A friendly guy in a bright orange shirt smiles, shrugs and says, "You're fine right there. Every space is full." Use the valet.
My team enters the restaurant's sleek, modern space. We head past the wine cellar (a shiny glass wall that acts as a room divider) to enter the spacious dining room, dominated by the salad bar. It's topped with the most enormous display of flowers I've seen short of a float in the Rose Parade. The long-stemmed gladiolus blooms poke out like Sideshow Bob's hair, and the entire west and back walls are floor-to-ceiling glass.
The center island is packed with 50 or so fresh, seasonal salad items. Once you are seated and order drinks, the food orgy begins. It's a salad bar of Dionysian proportions. There's a quartet of house-made salad dressings, gourmet artisan breads, a range of imported cheeses (don't miss the pre-cut wedges of Spanish manchego), fresh buffalo mozzarella, flawless steamed asparagus with orange marmalade sauce, Brazilian hearts of palm, grilled portobello mushrooms, Greek olives, shrimp salad, imported Italian salamis, sautéed mushrooms, herbed sweet onions, and spicy surimi sushi. Plus, pineapple carpaccio — ultra thin and perfectly ripe.
Along the back wall is a series of mirror-like stainless-steel domes with handles. This is the row of warm treats, including feijoada (fey-JWAH-duh), traditional Brazilian black bean stew; farofa, toasted cassava flour that adds a touch of smoke; jasmine rice; delicious gratined potatoes; moqueca de peixe (moo-KAY-ka duh PAY-shuh), small chunks of white fish stew in coconut-lime broth; and a very credible lobster bisque. Don't forget ramekins of fresh chimichurri and mint sauces for the meat to come.
Back at the table, my traditional lime-tinged caipirinha cocktail is totally refreshing with the basket of Brazilian cheese bread (pão de queijo), which is a bit doughy. There's a dish of superb garlic mashed potatoes, too, as well as two whole yummy sweet fried bananas, ostensibly to cleanse your palate.
Each diner has a red medallion on the table. When you finish gorging on soup and salad, you flip the disc to green and unleash the army of gauchos brandishing swords like charging 19th-century infantrymen. Only the gauchos aren't out to run you through, but rather to trick you into eating as many as 16 grilled meat wonders.
This is like a theme park for carnivores. I'm practically growling like a circus tiger in a cage as the gauchos stop by the table. Some slide a hunk of chicken breast wrapped in bacon or a filet mignon onto your plate. Others require you to grab the meat with tongs as they cut a slice at your preferred temperature. My piece of rare flank steak is ridiculously long and juicy. I feel like a snake handler as I wriggle it toward me.
There are absolutely delicious braised beef ribs with a layer of crisp, fatty bark and Brazilian picanha, a cut that's unusual in the U.S. It's from the top, rear "rump cap" with a thick layer of fat. This one's rare, juicy and full of beefy goodness. Don't miss it. Pork, lamb and sausage are also offered, but pace yourself. While we are totally stuffed, I know I need to power through. You're expecting to hear about dessert. I'm here for you.
Our server swoops down with a colorful a la carte dessert tray. They're not made in-house, but they're carefully sourced. The array is impressive Brazilian cheesecake, crème brûlée, Brazilian flan, chocolate mousse cake, bananas Foster pie, key lime pie, carrot cake, pecan pie, Brazilian papaya cream, and coconut chess pie. Phew.
We opt for the cheesecake, which turns out to be an inspired choice. The dense-yet-creamy filling is coated with caramel, and a section in the back features — what else? — chopped Brazil nuts. The bottom quarter is a rich layer of chocolate. It's a scrumptious way to finish.
So, the food delivers, the service is friendly and the decor is attractive. What the evening lacks, for me, is pace and atmosphere. The room is noisy, and somewhat frenetic. The gauchos whizz by with an overabundance of grilled delights. And there's no time to savor anything, unless you reject a skewer of perfect lamb chops (it's hard to say "no" as the seductive swords of glistening juicy meats pass by).
I'm forced to admit that all-you-can-eat is lost on me. I'm eating too much, too fast, and without discernment. It's all so good, but after meat No. 5, it's kinda hard to differentiate. For me, that means despite its quality and flavor, Texas de Brazil doesn't rise to the level of fine dining. I feel like I'm eating in a cafeteria: Nothing is plated, there's lots of clanking and clinking, and it's hard to converse. Not to mention, at nearly $50 a head, you feel compelled to stuff yourself to get your money's worth.
If you're looking to celebrate a high-school graduation with starving carnivores, this may be the perfect spot. Although the Tampa location is a first-rate churrascaria, come really hungry and don't expect round-table conversation, unless you're yelling about politics.
CL Food Critic Jon Palmer Claridge dines anonymously when reviewing. Check out the explanation of his rating system, or email him at food@creativeloafing.com.
