Remember when the Ybor City Development Corporation put the kibosh on Commune + Co.’s rolling cold-brew coffee revolution for Tampa? Probably not, you fake news-loving freaks. Still, if you thought the YCDC’s shortchanging of the fine art that is cold brew was bad, then you should head to your run-of-the-mill neighborhood chain grocery store, where you’ll find Gevalia, Chameleon, Kohana and Coolbrew — all brands that make hideous cold brew concentrate for we minions who simply don’t have enough money to shell out $5 (plus tip) daily in support of the craft coffeemakers that call Tampa Bay home. There’s a secret use for the yucky, blackish syrup these retailers are slinging:
Put that shit in your cereal. Seriously.
Grab some Lucky Charms (or other mallow’ed-up diabetes-maker), and pour skim milk on it. Dose it with one healthy splash of that caffeinated motor oil and stir. We’re thinking it’s pretty damned good with Frosted Flakes, Sugar Smacks and Cinnamon Toast Crunch, too. Just leave the Corn Pops and Frosted Mini Wheats alone, and thank us later.
This story is just a taste (heh) of the great features, tips and fun coming in CL's Summer Guide 2017, hitting stands May 11.
This article appears in May 11-18, 2017.