Even after nearly 10 years of swinging, I still find that some men forget the basic etiquette of pleasing a woman during sex. Occasionally they need to be reminded of the do's and don't's of getting down to business. While I'm sure women do just as many things to piss off men in bed, as a woman, I primarily have sex with men, so they will receive the brunt of my complaints.

1 – Skipping foreplay: Unless we are fucking in the restroom at a truckstop, you have time for foreplay. No excuses.

2 – Forgetting to trim your nails: This isn't a pap smear, so please don't scrape my cervix.

3 – Complaining about

This article appears in Oct 21-27, 2010.