A murder. Two witnesses. One witness did it; the other's probably innocent. Each says the other did it. All other evidence is subtle. The prosecutor is not sure which one did it. The murderer can only be convicted if "beyond a reasonable doubt." That's what's going on in a Tallahassee trial this week. The judge's solution: one trial, two juries (one each for defendants U'dreka Andrews and Danny Joe Brown). [Tallahassee Democrat]

Showdown in Brooksville At a heated meeting last night, the city council cracked down. Mayor order an investigation. City manager resigned. Police chief, a police lieutenant, and city's human resources director went on administrative leave. The main problem is that the chief and the HR director have been feuding, culminating in the HR director's arrest for loaning out some Xanax. And the city council member who strove to get to the bottom of this felt she had to have a Hernando sheriff's deputy on hand last night just in case. The pettier the dispute, the more vicious the game. [St. Petersburg Times] [St. Petersburg Times]

Follow-Ups Oh, now, the union rep got into the Tigger suspension [The F State, 1-8-2007]. Tigger was just swinging his arm to keep from having his costume pulled against his windpipe. [WFTV (Orlando)] A state appeals court upheld the dismissal of a DUI ticket (dismissed because it was based on the Intoxilyzer machine, which defense attorneys say is unreliable in oh-so-many ways [The F State, 11-22-2006]). In this specific case, a Broward man's reading was thrown out because the sheriff's office used tap water to obtain a baseline reading for calibration, rather than distilled water. They're now using distilled, though. Previously, a Seminole judge said the Intoxilyzer's computer code may be faulty (and thus, no DUI readings would be admitted as evidence), but a Sarasota judge said, no problem. [Miami Herald]

Floridians With Worse Sex Lives Than You Lwane Mansell, 54, an I'm-just-pretending pastor, was arrested in Dover (near Tampa) and accused of fondling a 11-yr-old girl through her clothes but then when she threatened to tell, low-balling the negotiations ($10 to start, but then $50 a month thereafter, laundered in the form of treats for horses she likes to feed). [St. Petersburg Times]

Your Daily Loser Jeremie Don Curl, 32, was arrested after allegedly trying to rob a gift store in Fernandina Beach using a remote-control as his gun (but then, when the lady clerk complained he was jabbing it too hard into her stomach, he responded, for some reason, "It's not loaded"). [Fernandina Beach News
Leader]

More Things To Worry About Today Danny Villegas, 44, said he robbed a federal credit union in South Daytona because he wants to live in a federal prison (rather than in state prison or in, well, South Daytona) [WKMG-TV (Orlando)] . . . . . Barroom Justice Done: Quiet man at a Pensacola bar gets needled and dogged repeatedly by obnoxious twit, finally coldcocks him (an act with which the jury ultimately finds absolutely nothing wrong) [Pensacola News Journal] . . . . . A 43-yr-old man in Orange County not only got run over and pinned by his own car but then the catalytic converter set fire to his clothes, and he's in bad shape  [WKMG-TV (Orlando)] . . . . . An amateur beehive remover, Jeffrey Brauner, 47, attempting to dismantle a 50,000-bee hive in Cape Coral, is in critical condition with "hundreds" of stings [Fort Myers News-Press] . . . . . WFTV's got a real scoop, that there's a hospital in Lake County that was responsible for lots of people getting E.coli because it was so slow in alerting health officials, but the officials won't name the hospital (supposedly because it would violate the privacy of the  original patient) [WFTV (Orlando)] . . . . . Many burglars who try a vent entry of a restaurant wind up near or on or in the hot grill or fryer, so Wing House (New Port Richey) burglar Charles Grant is lucky, in that he only got severely, badly greased up [St. Petersburg Times] . . . . . Darren Brown, 28, made it awfully easy for Broward sheriff's deputies when he drove right through the closed gate at their headquarters in Fort Lauderdale (and yes, alcohol was involved) [South Florida Sun-Sentinel].

This article appears in Jan 3-9, 2007.