The conversation starts innocently with, "So …what are your plans this week?" Before the three loads of laundry and my mile-long to-do list can catch up to my big mouth, I've already invited half the neighborhood over for supper on Thursday night.
As the "gourmet chef" in my group of friends, it's been a natural progression over the past few years to consider my home a free local restaurant. Normally, this is a great thing, as my friends become guinea pigs for recipe testing and fanciful food experimentation. Plus, they bring wine, laughter, cute kids and sometimes even help wash the dishes.
But it's getting old. It would be nice to get invited to someone else's house for a change. To not have to plan a menu, shop, prep and crazily clean the house 15 minutes before guests arrive. And when I say "clean," I mean throw toys in the closet, scooch cracker crumbs under the couch with my feet, swipe the layer of dust off the glass table with my forearm and hide traces of convenience foods like Rice-a-Roni, instant ramen and Betty Crocker. You know, items that a gourmet chef would never be caught dead with in her kitchen.
Most of my friends would rather take us out for dinner occasionally, sparing themselves the unnecessary stress of entertaining. Maybe it's the fear factor of what to prepare for someone who cooks and writes about food for a living. Oh, how I long to let my kids mess up their house, spill a little red wine on their cheap off-white carpet, ask them difficult math questions while they are orchestrating the final touches of five dishes meant to be served simultaneously, and get deliriously drunk and "forget" to help clean the kitchen.
I'm not craving fancy schmancy — just a simple, low-maintenance meal like Aged Cheddar & Guinness Fondue. There's really no cooking involved, and, no, I don't count melting cheese as cooking. There are endless variations of fondue, but the combination of sweet, nutty, aged cheddar and the smooth, espresso-like Guinness is my absolute favorite. Years ago, when I worked for Diageo, the parent company of Guinness, this fondue recipe was a regular hit at our parties.
Now you have no excuse not to invite me over.
AGED CHEDDAR & GUINNESS FONDUE
Serves four as meal or six as first course.
If you don't have a fondue pot, just prepare the fondue dip in a medium-sized saucepan and bring it to the table hot. You may have to warm the fondue on the stove a couple of times during the meal. If the cheese gets too thick, thin it out with a little more Guinness. Tossing the grated cheese with flour ensures a smooth, lump-free fondue.
2 apples, cored and cut into chunks
2 cups cauliflower florets
2 cups ham in large cubes
2 cups baby carrots, each halved
1 baguette
Fondue
1 lb quality aged cheddar, grated
2 1/2 tbs all-purpose flour
8 oz Guinness stout, plus more if needed
6 tbs frozen apple juice concentrate, thawed
1 tsp powdered mustard
1 tsp finely minced garlic
1 tsp Worcestershire sauce
2 tsp olive oil
1. Toast baguette: If your bread is day-old, skip this step. Otherwise cut the baguette into 1-inch squares. Turn oven to 250F. Toast bread pieces for 15 minutes. Remove and cool.
2. Make fondue: Toss grated cheese with the flour. In your fondue pot over low heat, add two teaspoons of olive oil and garlic. Fry until garlic is fragrant, about 30 seconds. Turn heat to medium-high. Add Guinness, apple juice concentrate, Worcestershire sauce and mustard. Bring to boil. Add cheese a little at a time, stirring constantly until fondue is smooth and melted. Thin with more Guinness, if needed, throughout the meal. Season with salt and pepper.
3. Serve: Arrange bread, vegetables and fruit around the table. Other ideas: broccoli, pigs in blanket (made with lil' smokies wrapped in strips of crescent roll dough, bake 375F for 12 minutes), celery, boiled new potatoes, grapes, steamed Brussels sprouts, boiled shrimp.
Jaden Hair blogs at steamykitchen.com.
This article appears in Oct 17-23, 2007.