There's no better indicator of one's ability to perceive subtlety than one's guacamole making skills.
That's why, if you are aspiring to be the leader of the free world, as one former Florida governor Jeb Bush is, your guac game had better be on point.
Too bad Bush's is not, and that's why this reporter would like to challenge him to a guac-off.
You see, earlier today Bush made public his personal "Sunday Funday" guacamole recipe (it's required that you grind up the ingredients using a mortar and pestle, which Bush calls molcajete and literally is selling on his campaign website).
(Yeah, slow news day.)
Spoiler: it seems like it'd be pretty bland.
For starters, it doesn't even call for a pinch of salt.
Not a pinch.
The ingredients are as follows: avocado, cilantro, onions, jalapeño, garlic (not too much).
You read that right. "Not too much" garlic.
As if there was such a thing.
Reasonably edible guac requires a generous helping of the stuff.
Great guac is dependent on multiple cloves of garlic, minced and folded into every tablespoon of that mashed green amazingness.
You also need tomatoes. And red onion. Not just any onion.
Bush's use of cilantro gets a pass, as does the jalapeño. It's also cool that he uses the mortar and pestle, though I wouldn't buy one for the $75 his campaign is trying to charge for one.
But no salt? We can't hang with that, Jeb!.
This article appears in Dec 31, 2015 – Jan 6, 2016.