Ah, marketing.
This just in from Creative Loafing staffer Joran Oppelt:

CRUSHING THE HUMMER
I arrived at work this morning to find the new marketing materials from Reeves Import Motorcars. They include a detailed scale model of a Hummer H2, along with a small wooden china cabinet and a tiny tea set (including a teapot, cups and saucers). It's cute. The makings of a little Republican dollhouse, I thought.
But then, I saw the photos and the CD-Rom which accompanied the playset that instruct you on how to correctly "use" it. The campaign is called "CRUSH EVERYTHING," and apparently more info can be found online at www.crusheverything.com, but the long and short is this: You set the cabinet up, put the dishes delicately away inside, and then plow the vehicle through the setting, knocking it over and sending the dishes flying. If you need motivation — you know, some help getting pumped up — there are videos on the CD-Rom, and also on the Web site that feature various Hum-V's obliterating not only china cabinets but vending machines, the arm of a toll booth and even a port-a-potty.
According to the press release, the team's "eyes lit up," while coming up with the list of things the vehicle could destroy. Great. Sounds like the planning session for the new Grand Theft Auto video game or a ride at Universal Studios. Something where you might ask the opinion of a 10-year-old boy in order to get closer to your market. It doesn't sound like the marketing of a vehicle that would ideally safely transport your family
from point A to point B.
I think a better way to vent my frustrations would be to lay into the scale-model Hummer with a hammer. Or better yet, throw it against the wall and watch it explode into tiny pieces. It would at least bring me that much closer to standing up against the monstrosity that is the Hummer. The machismo-monikered glamourization of war that we fuel and drop our  god-fearing and war-mongering children off at soccer with every day.
Crush everything? No, just one thing. One impulse. One idea. As quickly as possible.
Joran Oppelt

This article appears in Oct 11-17, 2006.