It's The Boys on the Bus, 2007 â€” the boys being a team from Boston's notorious alt-weekly, The Weekly Dig. Living in the state of Romney, they've had lots of time to build up antipathy toward him, but they don't like any of the other candidates much either. That's what makes their dispatches from the NH primary, which they're circulating to alt-weeklies around the country, so entertainingly blunt.

And besides, where else but the Dig â€” for better or worse â€” are you going to read descriptions like this: "Sure, Bill Clinton didnâ€™t have Chuck Norris in tow, but thatâ€™s just because there arenâ€™t enough mops in New Hampshire to soak up the roaring female cum rapids that would surely flow if Chuck and Bill were in the same room at one time."

Today, we bring you their first installments to get us caught up from their travels over the weekend. We'll post their remaining stories as we get them. (Cross-posted at The Political Whore.)

â€” David Warner, editor

Day One â€” The Case for Not Voting in November

Dispatches from one pathetic presidential primary

by Chris Faraone, Mark Grueter and Dan McCarthy

While you were sleeping like a dead baby at 4 a.m. last Friday morning, three of us crammed into a rental car and hurtled up I-93. We brought laptops, long johns, stimulants and skepticism â€” all the necessary tools for documenting New Hampshire's notorious first-in-the-nation presidential primary and the carnival that surrounds it. Initially, we came for the same reason that we cover local politics: because by delivering antipartisan commentary with some stank on it, we believe that even intellectually retarded hipsters and college kids who wonder why a Middle Eastern country named itself after a drinking game might be interested in the policies and people who govern them. But after four days of chowing bullshit and baloney, we decided that you're all better off not voting. If you're a status quo robot who wants press release-inspired rub about flip-flops, hollow promises and poll results, then please consult your daily newspaper. For the rest of you lazy fucks who need new excuses for not exercising your democratic duty, this is the only set of stories that you need to read all year.