In the 11-minute video posted on his verified Instagram profile, Gillum, who narrowly lost his race for Governor in 2018, spoke of his struggles with alcoholism and depression.
“I had totally underestimated the impact that losing the race for Governor had had on my life and on the way those impacts started to show up on every aspect of my life,” Gillum said. “I didn’t want to talk emotionally or really deeply about what had happened in the race for Governor because it was a constant reminder of failure and my own personal failures. It was a reminder that I had let so many people down.”
Prior to his bid for Governor, the former Tallahassee mayor was seen as a rising star in Democratic politics, even drawing an endorsement from former President Barack Obama in his race against Gov. Ron DeSantis. In the video, Gillum describes elected office as his life’s work.
“Not only that, after having spent 16, 17 years as an elected official — the thing I knew how to do well, the thing that gave me an outlet to go and try to change the community in the way that I thought would make it better — all of that was all of a sudden gone,” Gillum said. “It really did cause me to think about my own purpose, my own value and what I could contribute, if anything. I didn’t want to face all those things so I numbed.”
Despite losing to DeSantis, Gillum appeared to have rebranded himself in the months after the election. He appeared often on CNN and became the face of Forward Florida Action, a group focused on registering and engaging Democratic voters.
Gillum said he “got busy” as a means of coping.
“In truth, I was perfecting what it meant to wear the mask, suffering in silence because I simply could not bring myself to deal square on with what was happening more deeply inside of me.”
Gillum entered himself into rehab shortly following the incident and withdrew from public life.
He gave thanks his wife, R. Jai Gillum, for her encouragement throughout the process.
“A women who knows everything that I am and everything that I am not,” Gillum said. “She chooses to love me anyhow.”
The 40-year-old also offered advice for others based on his experience.
“Don’t be like me,” he said. “Don’t suffer in silence. Get access to the help that you need.”
This article first appeared at Florida Politics.
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This article appears in Jul 16-22, 2020.