I almost had a panic attack before the evening even began.
On the way to the Weekly Planet camp in, I made a special trip to Publix to pick up some provisions, most importantly, “Natural†White Cheddar Cheetos — a fundamental camping snack — and couldn’t find the damn things to save my life. They’re usually stocked in the natural foods aisle posing as something that could possibly be good for you. But the puffs were no where to be found. I jogged to the regular chip aisle. No luck — just boring old orange cheddar Cheetos and other snack foods that weren’t in any way appealing. I racked my brain in desperation — oh where, oh where have my little puffs gone, oh where oh where could they be??
Then it occurred to me — End Caps! You know, the displays at the end of each aisle … anyway, I found a few bags there and my relief was so great that when the cashier asked me if I wanted to donate $1 to the March of Dimes, the only reason I said yes was because I found the White Cheddar Cheetos. Otherwise, those babies could have kissed my ass.
This article appears in Apr 19-25, 2006.