You've never eaten a guava. You're not certain you could pick a guava out of a fruit lineup. But you know what a Guavaween is. It's a huge Latin-style Halloween street party where — after a few beers — it's exceedingly difficult to tell the difference between the cops on patrol and costumed revelers dressed as cops; men who thought it'd be funny to wear their wife's dresses and crossdressers in drag; women who've come dressed in slutty outfits and sluts in their everyday miniskirts, etc. Guavaween is, of course, much more, as you'll see in the following list of events scheduled for Saturday, Oct. 27.
Guavaween Family FunFest
(11 a.m. to 4 p.m.)
The streets of Ybor fill early for this kid-friendly event, featuring tons of entertainment and activities for the little ghosts, and plenty in the way of shops and concessions for the big ghosts. Activities include a Safe Trick-or-Treat at Centro Ybor, a Silly Scavenger Hunt and the Children's Costume Parade & Contest. As if that's not enough, there's also Pumpkin Cookie Decorating, Scary Storytelling, rides, games and a concert at Centro Ybor, with music by Exact, Michelle, Melizma and Velez, and more. And the first 100 kids to the WTMV-Ch. 32 display at Centennial Park (Eighth Avenue between 18th and 19th streets) receive a free pumpkin.
Admission to FunFest is free to any kid in a costume; $2 for those without, and adults.
Mama Guava Stumble
The theme of this year's night parade is, "Excuse Mama's Mess — The Party's Still On," which refers to the ongoing construction of new Ybor residences, commercial buildings and parking garages. Pour your sense of humor, sarcasm and mockery into a wacky costume like a cement mixer/beer keg and join Mama at 6:30 p.m. as she stumbles down Seventh Avenue, veers drunkenly at 14th Street and makes her way back to Palm Avenue. If your costume is particularly original, expect a Thunder-103.5 personality to enter you in the Features Costume Contest, with a grand prize of $1,000.
And if you've got a great guava dish, don't miss the Guava Love It! Cooking Contest, taking place at 4 p.m. at the Telemundo TropicalFest stage. Bring your prepared cuisine to be judged based on — what else? — Guavaween creativity and great guava taste. First place wins $350, which is just enough to bribe someone out of a prime balcony seat for the parade.
Guavaween Entertainment
98 Rock Stage
(Southwest corner of Seventh Avenue and 13th Street)
4 p.m. — Systematic
5:20 p.m. — Stereomud
7:30 p.m. — Adema
8:30 p.m. — Drowning Pool
9:45 p.m. — Disturbed
Thunder 103.5 Stage
(Ninth Avenue between 13th and 14th streets)
4 p.m. — Station Music
5:20 p.m. — Supernatural
6:45 p.m. — Bushhounds
9 p.m. — Features Costume Contest
9:30 p.m. — Mark Farner of Grand Funk Railroad
WFLZ-93.3 FM Stage
(Ninth Avenue at 19th Street)
6 p.m. — Exact
6:30 p.m. — PYT
7:15 p.m. — Olive Carpet
8:30 p.m. — Mandy Moore
9 p.m. — DJ Structure
9:45 p.m. — Lifehouse
TropicalFest
(Eighth Avenue between 15th and 17th streets)
5 p.m. — Lisa
5:30 p.m. — Jive V
6 p.m. — Rolando y su Dan Den
7 p.m. — Ricardo & Alberto
7:30 p.m. — Eduardo Verastegui
8 p.m. — Ley Alejandro
8:30 p.m. — Projecto Uno
9:15 p.m. — Cana Brava
10 p.m. — Fulanito
11 p.m. — Puertorrican Power
Little Sicily Stage
(Eighth Avenue and 18th Street)
7:30 p.m. — Blue Box Revolution
8:30 p.m. — Living Proof
9:30 p.m. — Tribal Style
10:30 p.m. — Race to Win
11:30 p.m. — Your Girlfriend's Crush
12:30 a.m. — The Young and the Useless
Parking and Shuttle Information
If you're not in the mood to sit in traffic sweating off your ghoul makeup, only to arrive late and find no parking, your best bet on getting to Guavaween is to take one of the many shuttles heading into Ybor. Shuttles cost $6 round-trip, or $15 including admission to Guavaween, and the last bus leaves Ybor at 3 a.m. Park and ride at one of the following:
Florida State Fairgrounds
Located at U.S. 301 and Orient Road (use Orient entrance). Buses begin running at 10 a.m.
Tampa Port Authority
Located at 1101 Channelside Drive, within walking distance of Ybor. Buses begin running at 10 a.m.
Britton Plaza
Located on Dale Mabry at Euclid Avenue (enter at Dale Mabry by Hardees). Buses begin running at 4 p.m.
Tampa Bay Center
Located at 3302 W. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. (enter off Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard, by large marquis). Buses begin running at 4 p.m.
USF Sun Dome Parking Lots
Located on the USF-Tampa campus, at 4202 E. Fowler Ave., Tampa. Buses begin running at 4 p.m.
Admission to Guavaween costs $10. Group rates and hotel packages are available. For up-to-the-minute information, check out www.cc-events.org, or call 813-242-4828.
This article appears in Oct 25-31, 2001.