Hillary deathwatch
There! We just saw her finger twitch again.
Bush Housing Secretary quits
"Mortgage crisis? There's a mortgage crisis?"
Baseball's opening day
Just 13 weeks until the Rays are mathematically eliminated from the playoffs.
Bush throws out first pitch
Errant throw skips off head of a Muslim fan, prompting a fight in the stands before knocking a financier unconscious while he was on the phone trying to stem a run on his bank, which collapses and sets off a worldwide financial crisis. Bush shrugs, then eats a hot dog.
April Fools
We all breathe a sigh of relief after learning that Florida's economic, political and civic missteps of the past decade were just one big prank.
Man arrested for using counterfeit $20s at Tampa strip club
His defense: "The tits were fake, so I figured …"
This article appears in Apr 2-8, 2008.