Getting into position:
Just thinking about this position will hurt a lot of folks with bad knees, so if you or your partner have any difficulties in this arena, this may not be for you. It begins with the man squatting on a hard surface with his back straight and his thighs parallel to the floor. It will take a lot of balance and coordination to maintain this position.
The woman squats over top the man, resting her feet as far forward as necessary to help balance the union of the two lovers. Once in position, you will find that it is not quite as difficult to remain upright as it was in the beginning. Movement will be limited to your basic grinding, unless the woman has exceptionally strong thigh muscles and can lift her body up and down with relative ease.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how would you rate position (1 as horrible, 10 as sexual nirvana)?
This position receives a 7.5 for its novelty and potential.
Did you have difficulty getting into the position? We had incredible difficulty getting into this position as far as balance goes. You really have to work together in order to position yourselves. What you are ultimately after in this position is a sort of state of equilibrium between both bodies.
Did you feel like a pretzel? Were you able to do the motions once in position? This position is not particularly entangling, but what it lacks in the pretzel department, it gains in difficulty of engagement. Once you get in that “state of equilibrium”, it will be hard to move much without disturbing that harmonious balance you worked so hard to achieve. What happens if that harmony becomes unbalanced? Well… then you fall over.
Any recommendations on getting either in or out of this position: Before you can walk, you must first stand… before you can fu@?, you must first be able to hold your balance long enough to gain penetration! With that said, the guy may want to try this position a bit while on his knees, then gradually work up to the toes once things are lubed up and functioning properly.
How long did you last in the position? 10 minutes
Enjoyment once you were in position (for the woman): The novelty and challenge of the position was definitely entertaining for her. The stimulation was not as intense as many other Kama Sutra positions, but it was still pleasurable.
Enjoyment once you were in position (for the man): It was enjoyable in a novelty sense, although I think this position could offer a whole lot more with practice.
Short Answers:
Was the position comfortable? Were you able to relax?
Man: This position is anything but comfortable. I've got pretty good knees, but I can see after about a year straight of doing this position, I don't think they would be so good anymore. This position definitely takes it toll on your joints.
Woman: She was slightly more comfortable, as her knees were not quite as cramped. If anyone was able to relax a slight bit, it would be the woman.
Would you consider this to be an intimate position (Why or why not)? While the position itself is very intimate in theory, the fact that there are about 5 other things on the mind, the most important of those being not to fall down, there is a lack of emotional intimacy. On the other hand, there is a lot of bonding to be had from this position as you must communicate and work together in order to maintain balance while sitting still.
Are you achy or sore after the fact?
Man: Not much, although there was definitely a creak in my right knee for a day or two.
Woman: No…
What did the position feel like (both mentally and physically) in 50 words or less? Mentally: This position can feel a bit daunting, but if you just have fun with it, it can become rather humorous and fun. Physically: The position is overall very draining, especially on the legs and calves. I'd say the first 5 minutes is the most pleasurable and the last 5 the most uncomfortable.
Did she reach orgasm? …No
Did he reach orgasm? …No
Did it take longer than usual to reach orgasm? N/A
Would you do this position again (why or why not)? Absolutely, we would both do this position again and plan on it. I do not think you can realize the full potential of this position by giving it just one trial run. We are particularly interested in its uses for public quickies, such as on the beach (no sand in the crack), in an alleyway (no garbage in your crack), or maybe even in a closet or on top of a toilet stall gaining membership rights to the mile high club (although with security the way it is, that is probably not such a great idea anymore).
Any suggestions to make the position more pleasurable: Have the “quickie” mentality once you begin… most peoples knees will not last much past 5 or 10 minutes without some sort of repercussion. The combination of a 2-minute man and the Squat n' Fu@? will be a match made in heaven!
This article appears in Apr 15-21, 2009.